We all want to live better stories, don’t we? I know I do. Part of discerning your new story is looking back on your past and figuring out patterns that were destructive and led you down frustrating paths. And it’s also helpful to celebrate the wins too. Let’s just...
Latest on the Blog
Is Your Burnout Compensation for a Parent’s Lack of Love?
One of my favorite authors is Mark Buchanan. In a recent blog post, he shared about the life of Eustace Conway (a review of the book The Last American Man by Elizabeth Gilbert.) Conway lived an amazing life, and he produced and accomplished much. But this quote...
When God Rewrites Your Story
Today I'm grateful for Meadow Rue Merrill who shares a story so achingly beautiful I devoured her book in one sitting. You really ought to pick it up. Here it is: Today Meadow gives us a glimpse into her family's life as they adopted little Ruth. Meadow's Story: The...
10 Ways to Spot Spiritual Abuse
This topic has been ricocheting in my heart and head many years. I've noticed a greater influx of reader email and Facebook conversations about this topic, so much so that I felt it would be wise to address it again. (I wrote this post five ago, and I've updated it to...
The Sexy Wife I Cannot Be
(I recently found out this post is no longer available on the site I originally wrote it for, so I'm posting it here for the sake of those who need it. This post is the impetus for writing Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing after Sexual Abuse. And it is birthed in...
When we protect perpetrators, we pervert the gospel
Prayer appreciated again. Heart is heavy. And yet I refuse to capitulate. I will shout it: sexual abuse is soul-killing and the church has for far too long kept it hushed, re-victimizing victims and protecting perpetrators under the guise of cheap grace, while...
I was raped, now I hate sex. Now what?
I received this email from someone struggling with sex after rape: When I was in my twenties, I was gang raped by 6 men. I started counseling but stopped. I felt that unless the counselor had ever been raped, how could she possibly understand what I was feeling or how...
Sex is Scary for Sexual Abuse Victims
This is the post that started me down the path to write Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing after Sexual Abuse. It first appeared on Deeper Story. ... I sat in the audience, taking notes, my heart sinking deeper into itself. Failure hollered so loudly I...
Why Affection is Hard for Sexual Abuse Victims
I have a picture of my cat Scout here for a reason. She is a typical feline, aloof, set apart. She can take or leave my affection. (According to the picture, she would rather ponder nature and read the ESV Bible). Her indifference makes me want to pursue and pet her....
A Prayer for Sexual Abuse Victims
We're down to the last three days in crowdfunding #NotMarked. I'm praying we'll make it to the $25,000 level so I can create the audio book. To find out more about Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing after Sexual Abuse, click here. A Prayer for Sexual Abuse Victims...
How do you forgive a sexual abuser? By writing a letter
It's been forty-one years since those bully boys stole my body, mind, and bits and pieces of my shattered soul. They posed as interested neighbors, ready to help my ancient babysitter. They'd take me off her hands, lessen her load. Which is strange if you knew me back...
God Can Heal Your Past
I grew up in a world where I didn't feel safe. Sexual abuse at age five, three divorces, the death of my father, drug abuse permeating my childhood neighborhood—many of these traumas I kept quiet. For years. I lived under that unwritten, unspoken mandate that to tell...