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Broken by past sexual abuse? I hear you. I see you. I understand. I’ve walked this shard-laden journey too. And I’ve learned a lot about the healing journey. (I still struggle, though. I don’t want you to think I’ve “arrived.”)   If you’re struggling to make sense of it all, if you trigger when someone […]

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When We Neglect the Millstone We Cast Stones at Survivors

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“Ministries that cover up sexual abuse are not ministries at all. Their silence allows evil to thrive. They do not represent Jesus.” I posted this quote recently, and I received many positive comments. But one of the comments put a burr in my saddle. The person wrote: “Correct , but we are not to be […]

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Laughter

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I can attest that one person’s few minutes of predatory behavior does harm someone else–for years. Some of you have questioned whether I’ve healed, and some have told me to move on. Others have judged me for not coming forward immediately (not knowing that I did). One commenter wrote this: “Sorry to hear about your […]

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Drop by Drop: how justice for abuse victims becomes a mighty river

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This morning on my way to work out, I listened to an NPR story of a woman who is recovering from a stroke. She used to be in the US military in Afghanistan, and, while there, engaged with local people. She found poetry to be a beautiful entry point for understanding and conversation. Post-stroke, she […]

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Those Who Knew and Said Nothing Are Culpable

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Last night I watched the Paterno movie (HBO films). While it is not a documentary, the film agonizes the watcher with every single side of the sexual abuse “debate” especially when it comes to institutional protectionism. Here’s the trailer: The entire movie grieved me, triggered me, saddened me. I see the bravery of the victim […]

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Poop Brownies and Predators

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“We are all sinners,” people post when a sexual predator, who happens to be a Christian leader, is outed. Some other frustrating (albeit well intentioned, perhaps?) responses: “Let’s not cast the first stone.” “Gossip is a sin, so by posting or warning, you are gossiping.” “Judge not lest you be judged.” “Women should expect harassment […]

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CNN interview about #MeToo

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I’m grateful for the opportunity to talk with Carol Costello of Across American on CNN where we talked about #metoo and #churchtoo. For a helpful resource page for pastors and ministry leaders, click here. And for more information about the #Forsuchatimeasthis movement, go here.

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Sexual Abusers are Masters at Deception

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While all the recent rashes of sexual abuse/crime/assault/harassment allegations against pastors (this or  this or this or this or this or this) has deeply grieved me, it does not surprise me. When I had the opportunity to learn from other experts in this space, I had the privilege of hearing from Jimmy Hinton who, along with […]

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Sexual Abuse and Porn – A Correlation

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I’ve been meaning to write this post a long time, but as you can imagine, it’s not exactly the easiest can of worms to open. I’ll start with my own story, a painful one to admit, told stark on the page of my memoir, Thin Places. Early on, my father dulls me to the dangers […]

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Displaced Loyalty and #churchtoo

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When I rallied enough gumption to tell my babysitter, a person in authority (at least over me), that teenage boys were raping me, she let me think she would take care of the problem. But the next day the boys took me away to do what they were wont to do to me that kindergarten […]

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