On Wednesday I took a run and asked God to speak to me via Shuffle on my ancient ipod. He didn’t disappoint. I’m in a crux of a place right now, between the now and the not yet, feeling a bit overwhelmed, tired and curious. What do you have for me, Jesus? What is next? How can I make the most of my time for Your kingdom’s sake and still help with the family financial need? How can I love You well and interact deeply with others? What do I need to weed? Keep?
Ever been there?
God’s interesting answer came through sporadic lyrics. Here they are in order:
From I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2:
I believe in the Kingdom Come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
But yes I’m still running
You broke the bonds
And you loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Oh my shame
You know I believe it
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
{Oh yes, I needed that gentle, powerful reminder that Jesus has taken my bonds and broken so many chains. And yet, I have a hard time experiencing His love. Though I speak of it, I feel like I need to truly, deeply, wildly experience it. Right now. Soon. In order for me to translate His love, I need to experience more of it.}
There is a Louder Shout to Come, Matt Redman
There is a louder shout to come, there is a sweeter song to hear;
All the nations with one voice, all the people with one fear.
Bowing down before Your throne, every tribe and tongue we’ll be;
All the nations with one voice, all the people with one King.
And what a song we’ll sing upon that day.
CHORUS:
O what a song we’ll sing and O what a tune we’ll bear;
You deserve an anthem of the highest praise.
O what a joy will rise and O what a sound we’ll make.
You deserve an anthem of the highest praise.
{What God calls me to is a global view of the church, not just my simple, yet complicated suburban existence. He wants me to be a part of justice, sharing Him, evangelizing, working for those less fortunate–all the while remembering God’s renown.}
Love, where is Your fire by Brooke Frasier
Love, where is your fire? I’ve been sitting here smoking away
Making signals with sticks and odd ends and bits,
But still there’s no sign of a flame
Imposters have been passing, offering a good-feeling glow
But I’m holding out for what you are about – an inferno that burns to the bone
Some urge me to be temperate, lukewarm will never do
[Chorus:]
‘Cause I, I wanna (know I’ll) blaze with you
So I’m holding my heart out to you
Holding my heart out
So I stand, handing out torches
Speaking words that are lamps to their feet
Til’ the time when you come and I’m whole and we are one and the fire in me is complete
Some tell me to be moderate but lukewarm will never do
{Such beautiful, telling lyrics by Brooke Frasier. This circles back to my need to experience the fire of God’s love. Oh how I need it. Oh how I long for it. Oh how I want to experience it afresh–a full blown bonfire of His light-filled love. Like Brooke, I don’t want to live a lukewarm life.}
Love and Peace or Else by U2
Lay down
Lay down
Lay your sweet lovely on the ground
Lay your love on the track
We’re gonna break the monster’s back
Yes we are…
Lay down your treasure
Lay it down now brother
You don’t have time
For a jealous lover
As you enter this life
I pray you depart
With a wrinkled face
And a brand new heart
I don’t know if I can take it
I’m not easy on my knees
Here’s my heart I’ll let you break it
I need some release, release, release
{Interesting that my run began and ended with Bono’s voice. It’s time again to lay down my career, to give it afresh to Jesus. It’s my lovely, that thing I cherish deeply to myself. It’s my identity. But everything beautiful to us must be released. I want to depart this life with a brand new heart. Jesus, I lay me down. I relinquish my words, my books, my speaking, all of it. Take it. Do whatever You want. Amen.}
0 Comments