I worried for four years about Sophie’s college money. All needless worry. A waste of my energy and time. I can’t get that back, either. All that fretting, questioning, pining. All for naught.
You see, God beautifully and perfectly orchestrated His plan. He allowed Sophie to receive a hefty scholarship (oh how we give Him glory). Since God is all knowing and sees the past, present and future, He knew this. He knew as I stressed out what His answer would be and when it would be.
There were times I stood in faith. Precious few. Where I chose to remind myself of God’s provision from the past. Where I rested when I felt like delving into restlessness. But those pinpricks of light were few.
Jesus, I’m sorry I wasted my thoughts on worry. Will You kindly forgive me? Remind me again of Your faithfulness, will You? Help me to become a remembering follower. One who looks back on Your provision and thanks you for the past, rests in the present, and anticipates the future. I remember how my grandmother Mary used to worry a mean streak, how everything was a point of worry for her. I see myself headed that direction unless You intervene and I learn gratitude and faith. Please Lord, help me live with an attitude of holy contentment. For what I have. For what You’ve provided. For what You want me to give to others. I want to live with an open hand, open to Your blessings, but not holding so tightly to them that I can’t let them drop from my fingers into the hands of those who have need. Renew me, Jesus. I love You. Amen.