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How Did I Get Published?

31 Comments 18 February 2013

published

Something happened when I birthed my first child in 1992. Suddenly the storyteller inside me ignited, and I knew I wanted to be a professional published writer. But my road to get from birthing a baby to birthing a publishing career took over a decade.

During those ten years, I wrote in obscurity, miles and miles of unpublished words. I didn’t know it, but I’d become the poster child for Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers book where he shares that the secret of genius is simply practicing for 10,000 hours. Boy howdy did I practice.

I penned video screenplay for an ultrasound machine manufacturer. I created articles that were never published, giving myself fake deadlines and training myself to meet them early. I edited newsletters and made a little money from that. I wrote homeschooling curriculum.

In the year 2000 after eight years of working under the radar, we moved to the Dallas area where my husband attended Dallas Theological Seminary. My youngest was two years old and would start preschool twice a week, giving me time to write uninterrupted.

I’d written a few short stories by this time and had the kernel of a novel idea. Because I’d had a negative experience with a published writer in the mid 1990s—she wouldn’t give me the “secrets” of getting published and discouraged me—I’d grown hesitant to ask writers for help.

But during that year, something providential happened—as if God had finished up my time of unknown apprenticeship and decided to throw me into the publishing deep end. I sat next to a lady I didn’t know during a church potluck. She asked, “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

I had an internal debate then. Should I tell her what I really wanted to do? To write? Or was that just a crazy dream that would never amount to anything?

Eventually I decided that since I didn’t know her, it wouldn’t hurt to try out my crazy answer. “I want to be a published writer,” I told her.

She looked at me, skewed, but with a smile. “Did you know,” she asked, “that one of my passions in life is to mentor new writers?”

This potluck woman became my mentor. Her name is Sandra Glahn. She helped me craft my first query, peeled me off the sidewalk when I got a mean critique, encouraged me to join a writers group (I joined two), and generally cheerleaded me on the journey.

By 2002 I’d become a newspaper columnist by marching into my local newspaper, sharing some of my articles from my newsletter days, and asking if they needed a writer. They did. The small town press paid me $25 a week—a gold mine for a seminary wife.

I also sold my first article to a national magazine, and I began my first novel, a historical set during The Great Depression. In 2003, I attended my first major writing conference at Mount Hermon. There, to my great surprise, I met my first agent. He shopped my now-finished novel everywhere. It got some good bites, but no takers.

My agent encouraged me to write parenting books. He’d been receiving my weekly column via email, and saw something I couldn’t see about myself. I argued a lot when he pushed. “I’m not a parenting expert,” I told him. “Besides, I’m a novelist. I tell stories.”

Eventually he bothered me so much about parenting, that I emailed something like, “The only parenting book I’d ever write is for those of us who don’t want to duplicate our childhood.”

His return email simply said, “Mary, write that book.”

I didn’t know how to write a nonfiction proposal, so I learned, thanks to my friend Leslie Wilson. And in a few weeks I had a proposal for him.

A few days after handing that in, he told me of another opportunity for a devotional for moms. “I need the proposal by Monday,” he said. This was Friday. So I bucked up and wrote it. That next month, I signed two book contracts, both nonfiction, one for Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God (a devotional for moms) and Building the Christian Family You Never Had. But the fiction inside me would not die. It hollered at me as I went to bed, beckoned me to the keyboard.

I started a new novel about a girl who needed a hero to rescue her from sexual abuse. By now my agent had become a publisher, and I had a new agent. She shopped Watching the Tree Limbs everywhere, and every single house rejected it, particularly because of the subject matter. Meanwhile, I wrote nonfiction. A year later, a new senior editor (Rachelle Gardner, who is now an agent at Books and Such) emerged at NavPress, just as they were launching a fiction line. She remembered my book, asked for it, read it in a weekend, then offered a two-book contract.

In the middle of all this writing, my family moved to France as church planting missionaries. I felt like all my dreams were either dying or on hold. It took an act of sheer will to move there, knowing my writing dream might suffer. Thankfully, in retrospect, God used those two-and-a-half years to deepen my faith, give me great fodder for stories, and remind me that He is in control of my writing.

I’m stateside now, having traditionally published fourteen books (6 fiction, 8 nonfiction). I also self-published a writing book, The 11 Secrets of Getting Published, and just this year published The Quarryman’s Wife, the first novel I wrote.

Looking back over my journey, here are 7 things I learned:

  1. Discipline and tenacity are very important.
  2. Don’t despise small beginnings. Everyone has to start somewhere.
  3. When someone asks you to do something, don’t think of excuses why you can’t; figure out how to do it and deliver.
  4. Be open to God moments, particularly in relationships.
  5. Be generous with your knowledge of writing and publishing.
  6. Learn to settle your calling. Rejection gets harder, not easier, the longer you’re in the business.
  7. Be willing to change directions. Listen to professionals. They can see things you can’t.

It’s been an amazing journey the past twenty years. Looking back, I can clearly see God’s sovereign, tender plan as I’ve pursued that dream that birthed when my daughter came hollering into the world. I’m now a mom of three, an author of over a dozen books, and I’m living the dream of writing full time.

q4u: What’s your story? How did you get published, or where are you in the publishing journey?

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  • paula

    this is SO encouraging! thank you for sharing your story of small beginnings!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000126461424 Gabi Magaña Banks

    Mary, Thanks for your tenacity. I’ve been writing in my journals for the past 14 or so years and just attended my first ever writers conference at Mt. Hermon. I went there with measly confidence in myself as a writer and left encouraged and even more passionate about telling my story. I appreciate your stick-to-itive-ness and how beautifully you minister to others.

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      That is an amazing conference. I’m so glad you went and came back inspired.

  • http://www.cherylricker.com/ Cheryl Ricker

    Mary, your words and transparency always blesses me.

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Thanks Cheryl. As do yours.

  • Marisa Shadrick

    Thanks for the tips. I’m at the decade mark without a published book. I’m encouraged to know it’s not too late. I’ll be attending Mount Hermon next month, so whichever way it goes, it will help me move forward. Great free eBook!

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      How did Mount Hermon go?

  • http://twitter.com/seasonswithsoul Elizabeth Anne May

    Mary: I loved hearing your story. I’m at a crossroads. I’ve always written my entire life; always wanted to be a published writer as long as I can remember. I earned a journalism degree and have spent the past 18 years writing features for local magazines and newspapers and working as a marketing writer in health care and higher ed. I gave that all up in Sept. to launch a blog and pursue faith-based writing. Because it’s a different niche, I often feel like I’m starting all over these days.

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Ah, but you already are published. Rest in that. And hang in there. :)

  • http://twitter.com/HeatherCaliri Heather Caliri

    Thanks for sharing this, Mary. I’ve been doing the 10,000 hours of practice for a while, and have really started putting my work out there more publicly now. I feel like I’ve found my voice, my stride, and that as I’m being more intentional, the publishing will come. Right now, learning to market myself and network is my newest challenge–scary, but as I’m practicing, it’s getting easier. I love that the Internet makes it easier to find stories like yours and see the baby steps involved in any creative endeavor.

  • Tracy Hibsman

    Thanks so much for your story! Although I’m not a writer, I got a lot of encouragement from your post. I am a jewelry artist and today I was frustrated with how long it’s taking to have everything come together…even thinking about quitting. Your story has encouraged me to just keep going. After all, I feel led by God to make jewelry that touches the soul and encourages people that they are loved by God. All the glory to Him! Thanks again!

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Yay! I’m so glad you’ll keep at it, Tracy! What’s your website?

  • Jill Kemerer

    What an inspiring story!
    I must confess, I get a little sad when I read success stories that happen quickly, since my own journey has taken a long time. It’s very reassuring to read your words.
    I, too, decided I would become a published writer as a result of having my first child. God called me to set aside the writing for a time when my kids were young, but I joined a writer’s group and continued with short pieces. I’ve been writing (and trying to get published) for almost six years now, and I know that this journey has been so much more than just me finding a career. My faith has deepened in ways it wouldn’t have if I would have gotten quick success.
    Your point about humble beginnings has been in my heart for six months–I know God will open a door for me, and I will be thankful regardless if the door is rough-hewn wood or an ornately carved one. All my trust is finally in Him–and that’s what this writing journey has really been about for me.
    Sorry, don’t mean to ramble, just thank you. Your story really struck something in me.

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Yes, mine is a looooong story, but I’m thankful it has been. I needed more character to weather this crazy journey. You write beautifully, Jill!

  • Margaret Feinberg

    Mary, love this story! So glad you have gone on this journey!

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Thanks dear Margaret! I wish you were my neighbor.

  • Connie Welch

    Mary, Thank you so much for sharing your story. God has used your story to encourage and spur me on today. God placed on my heart many years ago to write, but my feelings of insecurity kept getting in the way. I was in some of your classes at NTCW conference in 2011 and deeply blessed by your teaching. I met Thomas Umstattd with Author Media, and shortly after, my website was born. I have recently joined a writers group and actively working on writing reaching out to others who have Hepatitis C and chronic illness. I am in the process of writing my journey of how God took an ordinary Domestic Engineer and transformed her into a Hep C Giant-Killer. Blessings friend, you continue to be an awesome inspiration!

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      That’s a great focus in the hep c community. Keep writing! Don’t let insecurity mess with you.

  • http://annkroeker.com Ann Kroeker

    Love reading the whole story in one place, Mary, as I have watched bits and pieces of it unfold in real time over the years. May God allow the next season of your words flourish, as He uses those words in the lives of readers–men and women who also desire to flourish as His children, His followers, His servants.

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Amen, Ann! Thank you!

  • http://twitter.com/deborahbeddoe Deborah Beddoe

    Thank you for sharing this, Mary. I’ve written all my adult life and wrote volumes when my kids were little — journals, poetry, stories, curriculum — unpublished. For the past five years, I’ve been working as a writer in marketing for Christian nonprofits. Two years ago, I got serious about book writing and it’s been tough. I’ve been impatient at times with having to spend so many words and so much energy on writing for other people, but at the same time, I am grateful to get to write for a living — even if my name isn’t on what goes out. And I’m grateful for the constant input/critique of my work. I meet somewhat irregularly now with a friend who is also writing a book, but with four kids (three of them teenagers) at home to keep me busy and humble, I’m in a season of writing in bits and pieces. I keep plugging away at a blog, too, which is helping me organize my thoughts. I really appreciate how you share your “secrets” with us. You are and have been so encouraging to me. Thank you!

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Just keep writing, writing, writing. God will honor your faithfulness.

  • http://twitter.com/sandraglahn Sandra Glahn

    And what a joy to be part of this journey! Love you!

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Love you too, friend!

  • http://twitter.com/sarahfarish Sarah Farish

    “encouraged me to join a writers group (I joined two)” – How did you find these groups? I would love to join a writer’s group – or have a Mastermind Group as you’ve written about – but I am unsure how to locate them. Googling brings up so many that I am unsure which ones are worthwhile and which ones are moneymakers. I joined one writer’s Facebook group, but it’s so large that keeping up with the posts is a full-time job. Any suggestions? THANKS!

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      You might try at a local (large) church. That’s where ours meets. Or form your own. For guidelines go to http://www.rcwg.blogspot.com

      • sarahfarish

        Thanks:) That’s the unfortunate part of living a small town…no large churches in the area. But, I will continue seeking online.

  • Anne Peterson

    I was asked to write Bible studies which got published, my poetry was leased from one company, then two. When I joined Tribewriters, I realized I had already begun building a portfolio, without knowing it. I recently wrote an eBook and launched it last week and now my paper copy will be available. I wrote the eBook to get my writing out there so others can read it. It did little good sitting in my office.

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Very good! Keep building!

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