I need an undulation reformation.
I resonate with this dialogue from the Wonderworks movie, Anne of Avonlea:
Marilla: You set your heart too much on frivolous things and then crash down into despair when you don’t get them.
Anne Shirley: I know. I can’t help flying up on the wings of anticipation. It’s as glorious as soaring through a sunset… almost pays for the thud.
Marilla: Well, maybe it does. But I’d rather walk calmly along and do without flying AND thud.
I feel the weight of my undulations. Up and down my emotions scream, bent to the whim of circumstance. I’ve soared on wings of jubilation this week, only to thud back into the mundane stress of missionary life today. Yep, we got our monthly statement from our mission’s agency today. Yikes. I know in my mind that God owns it all anyway, so a low number shouldn’t rattle me, but it does. THUD!
I guess I want to be both Anne and Marilla in this case. As a realist (pessimist), I don’t allow myself the thrill of soaring through sunsets of expectation. I figure if I expect the worst, I’ll be pleasantly surprised if things improve. So I admire Anne, her insatiable desire to risk even if it means a thud awaits her. But I also admire Marilla’s staid calmness. Nothing seems to rattle her; she simply moves on. Step by plodding step.
After all, there is not much I can do about money other than pray. And trust. And worship anyway. I just hope that the next THUD doesn’t steal the joy of the moment like it did today.
I wonder how many of you long for an undulation reformation?