We’re continuing the series where I answer your questions. If you have a burning question, simply write it in the comment section following this post.
Today’s question comes from Anonymous:
Here’s a question for you, Mary. It kinda mirrors ‘lisa’s’ question. Throughout my later teens, I was used and betrayed by men, a lot. I searched for love from others and trust in them, only to be hurt time and time again. Once married, even my husband hurt me deeply through betrayal. I find my mind constantly assaulted with negative, suspicious thoughts, something my mother constantly struggled with in regards to my Dad. Before she died, she instilled in me that a man will ALWAYS betray, eventually, as my father certainly did to her. How do I get free of these suspicious thoughts and learn to trust again???
As I mentioned in this post, trust is earned, not granted. It may be that your spouse is unsafe, that you cannot rely on him to be truthful or stay committed to you. I wish I didn’t have to write that. But I have to address that reality.
That being said, it is not good to walk throughout life constantly suspicious. With this kind of mindset, you question everyone’s motives, bend toward cynicism, and experience the sadness that comes when people fulfill your expectations and let you down.
The only way I know around this mindset is making Jesus the bedrock of your life. The truth is: people will disappoint you. They will betray your trust. But that need not be your downfall. It’s painful, yes, but it does not need to devastate you because your foundation is Jesus. Remember this verse:
“Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.” (Matthew 7:25 NLT).
Storms will happen.
Betrayal will most likely darken your life.
People will disappoint.
But Jesus will bear the betrayal.
Mind if I pray for you?
Jesus, I pray for my anonymous friend who battles constant suspicion. I know she doesn’t want to live this way. She doesn’t want to nurse along those deep fears of betrayal. Instead, lift her head to You. Help her to spend the time she’d waste being suspicious in pursuing and worshiping You. Help her if/when she is betrayed. Thank You that You won’t betray her. Give her joy in the journey with her husband, but also keep her wise. In Jesus’ name, Amen.