Help me Decide: Am I an Introvert or Extrovert?

Aug 2, 2013Find joy today


I’m extremely (irrationally) sad when someone calls me an introvert. Why does it bother me? Because growing up, some folks in my life determined that’s what I was. I never could break out of it, no matter how extroverted I became. Kind of like being a prophet without honor in his own country.

My husband’s an introvert, and dang proud of it. He revels in it. I like that about him. But the funny thing is when we’re out and about: I’m the one mixing with others. And he still calls me an introvert. (Though recently he told me he won’t call me that anymore. He sees how it bothers me.)

Is there such a thing as both? An extroverted introvert? An introverted extrovert? Is there degrees? Like, am I 75% extroverted, with a 25% hint of introversion? Must we all be one thing and nothing more?

I’ll let you decide. Am I an introvert or extrovert? Here are facts about me:

  1. I love being loud. I love parties and large groups of folks who laugh and talk and dance.
  2. I am usually the person who plans parties for groups of folks at writing conferences. (ICRS, Denver: Karaoke in a Mexican restaurant. Oh my!, ACFW: Magic Time Machine, and another night of dancing, etc.)
  3. However, there are times when I need to be waaaaaay alone. I need a quiet house to think. I believe this stems from being an only child, having a lot of time to myself.
  4. I sing loud in the car, windows rolled down, and wave to people. (This bothers my teenage daughter…)
  5. I ask all sorts of people lots of questions wherever I go.
  6. Yet there are times at some parties that I prefer to grab one girlfriend and have a deep conversation in the corner.
  7. I am not afraid to stand up and say something; usually in situations where a leader is needed, I step up to the plate. Once I was at a writer’s workshop, and, although I wasn’t one of the speakers, one of the facilitators walked over to me and gave me a microphone. I got to teach on the fly! Loved it.
  8. When my husband comes home, I want to talk-talk-talk about the day. He would rather be quiet.
  9. But when the kids are all talking at once, I tell them, “We are the quiet family!”

So, what’s your verdict. What am I? Leave a comment or tweet me!

@MaryDeMuth You are such an extrovert! (Click to tweet)

@MaryDeMuth I’d say 50/50 extrovert/introvert. (Click to tweet)

@MaryDeMuth You’re more introverted, but that’s a good thing! (Click to tweet)

Do you feel bound like Mary felt in this post? Mary talks about living in freedom in her ebook Live Uncaged!