Have you ever felt like God has taken you back to a path you’ve been on before? Recently I’ve felt this way about worry and finances. I’ve had brilliant times of faith where I truly believed God would provide, and the anxiety level I experienced during deprivation was low.
And then there are times like recently where I can’t stop worrying about stupid money. God has reminded me of the leaner, scarier times, when I seemed to have faith. And I’ve asked Him to please help me remember better. To remember enough to act differently, believe differently.
It probably circles back to security and control, if I let myself think about it enough. Money=Security. Having money=Control. Why is it that I want total, easy provision where I’ll never need faith when a life of faith is what pleases God? I fear that money sometimes becomes an idol that way. It replaces God because it makes life less worrisome. But it saps my need to lay it all down, to trust.
I’m circled back on this as a reminder. God is my provider, whether times are lean or plenty. He owns it all. Now all I need to do is learn this lesson right. Why? Because it’s hard to keep circling back on the same old problem.