A Saul Writer?

“Samuel said, ‘Why then did you not obey the voice of the Lord, but rushed upon the spoil and did what was evil in the sight of the Lord?’

Then Saul said to Samuel, ‘I did obey the voice of the Lord, and went on the mission on which the Lord sent me . . . ” (1 Samuel 15: 19-20).

I read this passage with holy trepidation. What if I am Saul? What if I value the spoils more than the Lord? What if I chase after that which satisfies in the moment and miss obeying the voice of the Lord. As a writer, there are many times I face temptation. Times when I could write a certain book I know would sell (but wouldn’t be “me”). Or times I could take a writing job for the prestige. Or times I simply manage my own career, taking jobs without first listening to the voice of God.

And, like Saul, I can be self-deceived. I can think, Hey, I’m writing Christian books, so I am on the mission on which the Lord sent me. And yet, I can be just as deceived in that thinking as Saul was when he didn’t fully obey God’s instructions during war time.

The voice of the Lord should be my strong tower. It should lead me. Guide me. And, truly, I want to heed it. But as I progress in my “career,” the stress of it all caves around me. The voices out there holler, drowning out God’s clear guidance.

And I reach for that which will temporarily satisfy.

Lord, I pray You’d make me a David writer. One who fails, yes, but then runs full speed into Your arms, to hear Your voice. I don’t want to listen to the clamoring noise around me. I don’t want to take on projects out of greed, or fear, or pride. I want to hear Your voice, to value it above my own ambitions. Teach me humility, Jesus. I lay my career in Your capable hands right now. Take me. Take my words. Do with them what You will.

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