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The Shocking Thing I Learned about Last Year

20 Comments 27 January 2012

The Shocking Thing I Learned about Last Year

My business coach, Denise Martin (who is amazing), asked me to do an exercise a few weeks ago. I hemmed and hawed a bit, then finally got to it. And I was shocked at the repercussions.

You may know me as a driven person. I certainly know myself this way. I don’t like that, and I’m hoping to change more and more, but there it is. So the thing she asked me to do was to recount my year and look at the things I tried to initiate as well as the surprised God brought about.

After I read both lists, I was both shocked and humbled. Here they are:

Things I tried very hard to make happen:

  1. Launch The Muir House in such a way that it would sell well. (It didn’t, though Zondervan did a great job of creating a page for the book on my facebook page and sent out lots of influencer copies.)
  2. Advertising on MaryDeMuth.com. It’s been a fairly successful endeavor, but not as consistent as I’d like.
  3. Sent a letter to my first stepfather in hopes of clarifying some memories, but received nothing back. Yet another dead end on some loose ends I can’t seem to tie up.
  4. Tried affiliate marketing. Pretty much the same result as advertising.
  5. Created several ebooks and a few print books. I’ve been mildly successful.
  6. Attempted to pitch and sell fiction again. I do believe I’ll write it again, but the timing’s not right.
  7. Tried to figure out SEO. Made several posts optimized on MaryDeMuth.com. Saw absolutely no return for that labor.
  8. Tried to reignite a couple friendships, but they didn’t work out.
  9. Tried to start a memoir about my father, but every time I researched and sat down to write it, a huge blanket of depression descended over me. I abandoned the project until I feel strong enough to tackle it in the future.
  10. Advertised 11 Secrets to Getting Published through an email list that cost way too much and had very little result. (Ouch.)
  11. Tried a chiropractor. The whole process just freaked me out.
  12. Tried to write a short novella based on The Muir House, but the time of year (Christmas) and my schedule wouldn’t allow it.
  13. Uploaded The Quarryman’s Wife as an ebook, then re-read it and caught way too many embarrassing errors. Yikes! Note to self: edit and re-edit and hire someone else! (Yes, it’s fixed.)
  14. Paid to have a forum put up on my site. Big disaster. Money spent for no return. (Golly, I hate that!)
  15. Thought Jesusy would be a great title for my growth book until we polled my readers. They HATED it. Back to the drawing board.

Things God orchestrated in 2011

  1. Gave me a sweet time with my sister, her hubby and my nephews in Washington.
  2. Introduced me to Michele Perry, author of Love Has a Face. Meeting her had a huge impact on my faith and the way I view my walk with God.
  3. Orchestrated a nonfiction book contract with Thomas Neslon. I absolutely did very little to make that happen. (A huge nod to my agent Esther, and to Bryan Norman, my editor there for believing in me.)
  4. Provided a scholarship to attend the Relevant conference in October. (And this year, I’ll be a speaker!)
  5. Gave our family a sweet vacation spot in Colorado that we could afford. Our family had an amazing week of outdoor beauty and reconnection.
  6. Provided a dear friend and photographer who took our family pictures this year for free.
  7. Reminded me of my eldest daughter’s skills and married that to my need for an assistant. Together we make a formidable force. She gets paid (something she needs) and I get assisted!
  8. Created fans for Beautiful Battle without me asking or seeking or trying. Folks are already reviewing the book and hollering about it without me having to ask.
  9. Inspired me to launch Write Uncaged after a stint at the Relevant conference where I learned that I could actually find income sources by teaching others.
  10. Approached by a pastor who watched me speak at the Christian Book Expo a few years ago (about parenting) and asked me to do a parenting conference in February this year. I did no finagling to find this opportunity. If you’d like to listen to the podcast, you can here.
  11.  Appeared on The 700 Club, telling my thin place story. I honestly don’t know how they found me.
  12. Created a deep sense of camaraderie among my senior girls discipleship group. That kind of group is rare and beautiful.
  13. Completed Beautiful Battle on the strength of some friends’ ardent prayers. That was a hard book to write.
  14. Opened up two very fruitful speaking opportunities in California and Indiana, where I felt God truly move through me to touch women’s lives.
  15. Approached to speak at the Orange County Christian Writers Conference about memoir. While there, had the opportunity to be coached by Alice Crider. Her words helped reorient my heart and perspective.
  16. Provided for my business.
  17. Connected me to an excellent accountant after my bookkeeper retired. And he saved me a lot of money immediately.
  18. Provided a full tuition ride for Sophie for the college she wanted to attend.
  19. Connected me to a group of young bloggers/marketers that ended up creating a new kind of book tour for The Muir House.
  20. Attended Catalyst Dallas, which showed me there were speakers out there who spoke like me—more gut honest and raw. This greatly encouraged me.
  21. Approached by Faith Village to be a regular blogger. Totally unexpected.
  22. Guest posted on Michael Hyatt’s blog a few times. Always a grace encounter!
  23. Asked to write a devotional for iShine ministries, which brought in much needed income.
  24. Changed from Turning Trials to Triumph to Live Uncaged. I went through a long process to figure that out, but ultimately God whispered the Live Uncaged to me. It fits. It so fits.
  25. Provided much needed business and life coaching through Denise Martin at Bridgelite.
  26. Kept putting people in my life in random ways that helped me see that abundance lurked on the horizon.
  27. Kept me connected to Randy Ingermanson who has helped me tremendously in thinking strategically about my web presence and time management.
  28. Provided a husband who cheerleads me in my work.
  29. Provided for our son Aidan to go to Ghana this last summer.
  30. Provided an excellent surgeon for my grandmother who has stomach cancer. They removed it without having to remove her stomach.
  31. Gave me the words to write my growth book with Thomas Nelson. Also not an easy book to write (or live out.)
  32. Approached to be a part of a new business for writers. Looks to launch this year sometime! Excited!

What I Realized

  • God did far more initiating (with success) than I did. And His God-incidences were far more interesting and fun than my drudgery.
  • Why in the world do I fret so much? What is it about me that strives and tries and thinks that my efforts amount to much? Am I that crazy?
  • There is peace in letting go of the reins of my career. God obviously knows better than I do.
  • A caveat: Just because some of the God things resulted in cool things and some of my things resulted in failure, doesn’t mean that’s always the way things work. Sometimes God leads us into situations that look like failure in order to teach us something. And sometimes our own us-inspired victories have lessons aplenty. The key is resting in God’s sovereign plan, however that may unfold, and entrust the results to Him.
  • What I do in my own effort apart from God profits me nothing.
  • It’s vitally important to seek God in everything I do.
  • Simply moving forward with impatience can bring potential disaster.
  • God’s surprises often involved people and relationships.
  • God will equip us if we open our eyes to the experts He sends our way.
  • I can trust God. Scheming is for the birds!

I’d like you to try this exercise and get back to me in the comments section. How has this exercise shocked you? Changed you? Moved you? Convicted you?

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Related posts:

  1. A Year Ago: What I learned about God at Cape Town 2010
  2. A Very Cool Thing
  3. 10 things I learned about myself at Cape Town 2010
  4. 20 things I learned about God at Cape Town 2010
  5. What I learned at Cape Town 2010

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  • Natalie Sharpston

    What a great idea, capturing critical elements from a year in such a concise way. It removes all the fluff and helps you get right down to the heart of the matter. It’ll be so good to make a similar list a year from now and compare it to this one…

  • http://twitter.com/BrookeWrites Brooke McGlothlin

    I really appreciate your honesty here Mary. It’s good for those of us behind you in the game to know that there are still failures ahead, and that God is bigger than they are. I’ve found over the course of the last year myself that God’s plans for me are ALWAYS better than my own plans for me. I’m not saying that working hard isn’t good and right (having a big discussion about that on my Facebook page right now!), but I whatever He’s brought me has always been better than what I tried to create. 

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Yes, so very true.

  • http://www.the123blog.com/ Marcia (123blog)

    I love your honesty and authenticity so much. I’m very similar to you and I keep forgetting to let God do the work. You’re so right – all my “workings” don’t seem to pan out AT all and I find myself discouraged and wondering if He really wants me to be a speaker? I’m going to really meditate on this and ask God where I need to let go more. thanks so much

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Thanks Marcia. May God speak to you clearly, and may He encourage you specifically.

      • http://www.the123blog.com/ Marcia (123blog)

        I must tell you, I prayed about this (have been praying) and I got booked for a speaking gig today. I am so very clearly not in control :)

  • JanieUpchurch

    Since most of my earthly life is behind me, I have seen my futile efforts yeild failure and I have seen them yeild pride. Yet, I have enjoyed the trip so much more when I follow the path of diligence toward an end and watch with amazement what the Lord does along the way. Resting in Him for results makes me know that whatever the results, they will be best. It replaces fretting with freedom. In my humanness, I want to make things happen and too often push for it, but when I am walking well in faith, in tune with His timing and purposes, life is somewhat of an oxymoron of calmness/excitement and of definition/free flow. It is beautiful in my soul. 

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Such good words, Janie. This should become a blog post.

  • http://beckfarfromhome.blogspot.com/ Beck Gambill

    What a wonderful challenge. I need to bookmark this and take the time to really evaluate. I was asking my husband the other night, “Do I matter. I’m so small. I want to have a voice and matter.” Of course he turned my head toward our precious children and reminded me that I do. But I often feel like I’m spinning my wheels trying to get ahead in an area that perhaps God has no intention for me to even invest in. Anyhow, that was a great reminder to step back and pay attention to where God is working and leading in our lives.

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      You certainly do matter, and God’s economy isn’t about superstars.

  • Alyice Edrich

    I can relate to a lot of what you posted on here. Struggles with working hard towards an end goal and it not coming to fruition, being so burnt out you just gave up, and then getting a breath of fresh air just long enough to try again only to fail once more. And then out of nowhere, God presents something to you that give you just enough hope to keep moving forward… all the while looking back and asking, “What do I need to learn from all these failures? From the depression? From the isolation? From the feeling so overwhelmed with life you can’t move?” I so love your honesty!

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Oh oh oh how I hear you.

  • Angela

    What a great exercise, Mary! Reading your lists was inspiring to me, knowing that God really is the one in control. Cements the fact that I can simply rest in that knowledge – do my part – but with His lead. Thank you for sharing this, really impactful. I might try it, too.

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      The clincher is to truly live under His control and resting.

  • Anonymous

    Oh wow. This is a really good idea, and while I say that I am equally a little anxoious about sitting down to do this as well… your stepping up and laying it out there makes me think it’s worth the effort… Thanks for this, Mary.

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      You can do it!

  • http://theordainedbarista.com/ Barry Hill

    Mary,
    This is a great exercise— I’ll give it a try. The one theme that I know we will share is doing things, on our own efforts, apart from God. Yeah, guilty.

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Yeah, me too. And it’s up there in black and white.

  • http://twitter.com/mollie_lyon Mollie Lyon

    Oh, Mary I was almost going to e-mail, because I was struggling with the same things. I posted last evening on my blog about Jesus’ yoke sitting empty- I need to put it on. I knew somehow you would understand, and more importantly pray for me.
    Thank you for being obedient to God.

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

      Jesus, be with Mollie. Help her take on Your yoke today.

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About Mary

Mary DeMuth

I love Jesus, my family, and my life. Jesus has helped me live uncaged, and for that I'm eternally grateful. In that place of thanks, I write books and blogs and whatnot.

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