I shared with someone an instagram post that got a lot of traction (I’ll paste it below), and they said, “I would never be that open online.” I know it’s a sacrifice, and I certainly don’t navigate it easily, but I replied, “It’s so people don’t feel alone.”
For me, authenticity is a measured risk for the sake of others. I’m not saying it’s always wise to spill everything on social media (I affirm that it’s very important to be wise), but I am saying that we tend to think we’re the only ones with struggles. It’s healing to know we are not alone.
Here’s my post:
Where I am today.
I am soul tired (lots of pouring out, not a lot of filling back up).
I am searching/seeking about what does a healthy, vibrant Jesus community look like.
I am struggling again with insomnia.
I am grateful for my three amazing adult children.
I am my husband’s cheerleader.
I am discouraged about certain aspects of ministry life and praying for guidance.
I am asking God to show us what’s next, as he seems to be pushing us out of what is comfortable.
I am wondering if my gifts are needed in the body of Christ. (Ever wonder that?)
I am working hard on not being enslaved to food rules and diet culture.
I am oddly grateful for my little black cat, Boo Radley.
I am coming to the end of myself when it comes to certain aspects of control, particularly in my career, my daily lifestyle, and some relationships.
I am grateful for a reconciled relationship.
I am utterly thankful for a longstanding answer to prayer—still astounded, really.
I am constantly decluttering, hoping for less to manage.
I am loving my time in the Bible.
I am humbled to have some amazing, longstanding friends.
I am tired of marketing and PR and platform building.
I am longing for revival in the Christian publishing space, back to really great content created by deep, wise, theologically adept writers.
I am hopeful for the church, though I struggle with iterations of it.
I am still a missionary at heart.
I am one who loves beauty and order in my home.
I am an artist (still hard to say out loud).
Imagine my joy when I read a post recently about the Apostle Paul’s vulnerability. In the book below, Philip Plyming talks about how 2 Corinthians, in particular, highlights Paul’s authenticity. (I haven’t read Being Real yet).
However, this idea deeply resonated with me and solved a puzzle I’ve been pondering. When asked what my favorite book of the Bible is, I always, without hesitation, say 2 Corinthians. There must be some camaraderie I felt between myself (who struggles openly) and the apostle. The letter resonates with me because there’s so much Paul writes about weakness, despair, fear, and the sufficiency of Christ in the midst of that weakness. WOW.