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marydemuth

Friendship is hard — but breaking up is even har

Friendship is hard — but breaking up is even harder.

In The Seven Deadly Friendships, you'll find biblical wisdom about relationships, as well as seven life-giving practices to help you grow and recover from painful relationships.

Get The Seven Deadly Friendship wherever books are sold!

#thesevendeadlyfriendships #friendship #marydemuth

Thank you @thenester for this astute quote about h

Thank you @thenester for this astute quote about home decorating and life.

"Learn the rules, then break them beautifully."

I decided it belonged in my pink-cabineted dollhouse kitchen.

I’ve been thinking about Christian maturity (and

I’ve been thinking about Christian maturity (and traits of immaturity) lately, so I came up with this unscientific list of traits of growing Christians.

These folks (hopefully they’re us!) are safe, developmental, compassionate, and connected to their savior.

Looking at this list, the opposite of it would indicate a lack of growth or maturity.

Do you have any to add?

On my walk, honeysuckle, reminding me of the sweet

On my walk, honeysuckle, reminding me of the sweet aroma of Jesus no matter where my feet trod.

So many thoughts about this verse a friend sent my

So many thoughts about this verse a friend sent my way today. But I’m tempering myself, or at least trying to.

Here are observable characteristics of abusive people and systems from this Scripture among many others. Maybe this will be helpful as you discern a difficult or confusing place you’re in.

Traits of abusive people or systems:

Is Prideful, arrogant, unteachable

Must always be right

Is uncorrectable

Struts

Lies and is deceptive

Is Self absorbed

Is addicted to the world’s system of acclaim

Cannot tolerate disagreement

Eliminates dissenters, then justifies the collateral damage as necessary

Defends at any cost

Creates a binary of us vs. them

Sees disagreement as satanic attack

Demonizes anyone who complains

Wields economic power as a means of control

Dismantles accountability systems

Undermines those they feel are a threat

Creates a culture of fear

Makes capricious decisions

Confuses manipulation with leadership

Is controlling

Defaults to greed

Plays favorites & has insiders

Dismisses the vulnerable and applauds the proud

Surrounds themselves with yes men/women who insulate them from criticism

Gaslights

I’ve been writing about these kinds of systems for over a decade, but I’m still learning. Did I miss a toxic trait? Anything you would add? And if you’re in the middle of one of these places or relationships, I’m so sorry.

I ran across my own quote today. Oh how true thi

I ran across my own quote today.

Oh how true this has been in my life.

Have you ever had a wound that didn’t seem to heal?

My mind drifted back to a broken relationship that has yet to resolve. Once again, I asked for healing, particularly in my emotions and the seemingly increasing triggers of late. I asked God to help me love from afar, to let go of needing to prove my point, to err on the side of generosity.

The wound remains—I almost see it like Paul’s thorn in the flesh because it certainly keeps me humble and dependent on God’s strength.

I know it’s hard to live in the in between, where the wound remains and reconciliation feels impossible.

But you will heal, little by little, sometimes imperceptibly. Keep choosing to engage in the process. Guard your heart against bitterness. Cry when you hurt. Confide in a mentor. Pray like crazy.

Though difficult and sometimes convoluted, I still choose the healing journey over retaliation or internal retaliation where I attempt to shove the pain down deep and pretend all is well. One leads to freedom; the other leads to anxiety.

What difficult thing has proven to be hard to heal from for you lately?

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