When You’re Afraid to be Naked

Feb 5, 2014Find joy today, Heal from the past, Not Marked

You know the dream, right? You’re sitting in your high school Calculus class, taking some sort of terrible test, and you look down and realize you’re wearing no clothes. Bucknaked You runs through the hallways, trying to shield yourself, though your antics prove useless. No matter what you do, or how hard you try to locate uniforms in the locker room or handmade clothes from Home Ec, you can’t find clothing anywhere.

The only solution is to rouse yourself from the dream, heart beating wildly, and reassure yourself that the naked episode was only an existential nightmare, and all will be well. Clothed You will live in your new day, a blessed set of fashion covering up all the naked (or as they say in the South, nekkid).

Not Marked is my bucknaked dream. It’s that sinking feeling that every part of me is being exposed to strangers and friends, and I can do nothing about about it. The book’s been written. Printed too. And as of Monday February 10th, it will release to the big, wide world. It won’t be a dream from which I can awaken.

I share my sexual abuse story in that book. I’ve shared it many, many times, so doing so again is not necessarily hard for me.

And, oddly, that’s not why I feel exposed. It’s the rest of the book–how I learned to heal, the faulty coping mechanisms I’ve used, the addiction I battled, how my husband and I have wrestled through my healing, how it’s not been easy or simple or quick or complete.

Not Marked is my healing journey broken wide open. (click to tweet)

So as I move through this week, trying to be tender to myself, telling myself to breathe-breathe-breathe and NOT freak out, I have one request: Would you pray for me? That I would let go of this fear of being exposed (click to tweet)? And that God would use this raw story for His glory? That many would read the message of this book and find healing?

Normally I’m the one praying for you, but today I felt it necessary to ask you for your prayers. Thank you in advance. Your prayers make you an important part of this book, and I’m grateful for that.