You Love me Anyway

I want to walk with You on the dusty roads of life

Where the grit of myself sands my toes, my heart

I want to see Your eyes bore into my emptiness,

Your gaze lifting me beyond my small ambitions to be liked

I want to hollow a place for me in the crook of Your heart

Only to find myself already grafted there

I want to be Toni Morrison who writes because her daddy loved her

To effuse words because someone loves me, just me

I want to grasp beyond comprehension that You sit me on Your knee

And delight in the space I occupy

I want to steal Your attention just for a second

To see if You’d bend my way, dignifying my neediness

I want to feel so near to Your heart that to stray one second

Feels like torture dripping or an abandoned house

I want to experience the melody You sing over me in the night

When there’s nothing I offer You but the in and out of tired breath

I want to watch You as You were when you walked this earth

Shockingly normal, splendidly ordinary, mysteriously inviting

I want to know I’d follow You even then, even after You told folks

To consume You, to be consumed by You, to stop consuming things

I want to hear Your words to me, really hear them

And understand that I love you means Your sacrifice

I want to taste Your expensive grace in ways I’ve never dared

To actually believe You love me whether I follow my rules or not

I want to walk with You on the dusty roads of life

Where the grit of myself sands my toes, my heart

And You love me

Anyway

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