Today I received constructive feedback from something I participated in. I should’ve known better than to open the file. But I did. And now I’m lost in unworthiness.
Yes, there were nice things folks wrote. Some positive comments. But my mind doesn’t stay on those. It clings to everything awful, to the cutting remarks. I’m not sure why I’m this way, and I do wish I were different. Criticism makes me cringe. It makes me want to cry. This is what I hear: “You’re not worth being here.”
Of course I know that’s not true. Jesus paid so much for me, for you, for the people who penned those critical words. Jesus helps me to remember to be gentle on my critiques, to sand away the snide, to think of constructive words. And when I receive them? I should place them in His hands. After all, He received the harshest rebukes. Some folks even called him the devil.
I’m not saying I’m Jesus and that I am above criticism. Lord knows I have a lot to learn in every single area of my life. But it helps me somehow to know He understands what it feels like to be criticized. And that He gave those over to His Father. It comforts me to know Jesus was fully human as well as fully God, that He suffered the same temptations I’ve suffered. That He knew how to walk through criticism with grace.
Lord, I’m feeling as small as can be today. Ready to cry, ready to throw in the proverbial towel. But as I pray this, as I hold those words of critique close to my heart, I realize there are others out there reading this going through much deeper trials, much sadder days. Lift their heads as You lift mine. Help us all to see Your beauty in the devastation of the day. Help us see You in the midst. Thank You for Your life, for walking this earth as a man, yet triumphing so beautifully. Touch us, please. Amen.