I could use prayer, folks.

Feb 24, 2014Mind if I pray for you?

These past few weeks have been amazing, but exhausting.

I launched Not Marked on February 10th, did several high intensity guest posts (one with 400 comments), and tried to master accounting for my company (which I am failing at). I help put on a blogging seminar, spoke for 7th and 8th grade girls, started my podcast, planned two birthdays, sent dozens of signed copies of Not Marked around the country, finalized a study guide, recorded the audio book for Not Marked (over 11 hours), helped inaugurate a blog for my church, met with counselors to start a Not Marked seminar, made dinner for a family in crisis, wrote several blogs, gathered interviews for some pieces I’m writing for my church, lead a discipleship group, taught our Life Group, was on the radio more times than I can remember, and stayed out several nights for ministry events.

As I type this, tears are coming, and I’m trying to tell them to please quit emoting.

I’m plumb worn out.

And it’s mostly because of the content of Not Marked. It has been a blessing to many (so far), and for that I am thankful. But this also means I hear/read many, many sad awful stories of abuse. For this girl bent on empathy, I can’t seem to shrug away other people’s pain. I carry it. I shouldn’t but I do.

I have also (wrongly) hung my hat on this book, meaning I am wanting/needing it to earn money. That pressure has taken its toll on me. Instead of selling thousands, I’m selling hundreds. It’s a slow, slow, molasses slow process, one I had hoped would be quick as a whip. This obedience thing? HARD, folks.

{Apologies for the mixed metaphors and cliches.}

So here I am, feeling quite raw and exposed, having poured my soul into a book that may or may not earn me money, wondering how I can continue to put one obedient foot in front of the other.

Would you pray for me? I would really appreciate it. It’s such an important ask, as I’m feeling way too much weight upon my tired shoulders, and my wherewithal is fading.

Thank you, friends. Just being honest, here.