Dream one: I needed to help my youngest with something. I can’t remember what it was, since that’s the nature of dreams, but I do know it was important. Only problem? I had a ten-inch long cut in my calf. It was deep. You could see the sinews and blood, all the way down to the bone. And I could clearly see infection (it was green goo), spreading throughout. I couldn’t help my daughter. I couldn’t even help myself.
Dream two: My three children needed me to go on an excursion with them. I tried to follow them, but I realized I couldn’t get into my wheelchair (weird, of course, because I can walk just fine). I tried to get in, but it kept rolling away.
I woke up with a strong sense that these two dreams meant something. What if I am way too injured to love my kids, to interact? To walk alongside them?
I sense God doing more breaking in me, more surgery, but I also sense attack coming. (Someone cut my leg. Something outside of me caused infection. Someone kept the wheelchair away from me.)
So please pray for me. Pray for protection for me, my family, my heart. Pray I’d be secure in Jesus, strong in Him, resting in His unending, perfect, amazing love. Sometimes I’d like to think myself strong, but really I’m just needy. Attack hurts, whatever form it takes. My heart, though, is to weather any trial well, and in the process, love my family through it.