Today I Wish I Didn’t Have This Story

Jun 5, 2016Heal from the past

So this afternoon on a lazy Sunday, I was so tired after putting on a graduation party for our youngest yesterday, going to church today, then accompanying my girls on a quick outing, that all I wanted to do was take a nap. I turned on a show about justice. (First rookie move). It’s called The Hunt with John Walsh. I watched this episode, where, in the second half, a pedophile lives free after several molestations.

And in that moment, I wanted to KNOW. I wanted the two boys (now men) who raped me at five years old. I wanted to find them and see justice. Once again, I scoured the Internet with a last name and a location, and found mostly nothing. An hour of my life taken by these people. And certainly no nap.

Most of the time I am okay with my story. I live a relatively normal life. Other than getting really, really mad when I read things like this, I manage to find joy in every day. I’m grateful for the healing God has brought my way. And I love it when I get to talk about how God has re-storied sexual abuse, neglect, death, divorce, and trauma.

But then there are days like today where it all comes roaring back, and I wonder where the justice is in the world. And I think, why am I taking this step toward the Restory Conference? Who am I? I still struggle.

I received this astute question on Facebook from Misty. She writes:

What exactly IS the re-story conference? I mean, are you the only speaker? Is it about restoration or is it a writing conference where you learn how to use your experiences for a story? I’d love to support it…and go, but I’m honestly still a little fuzzy on what it is. It’s probably obvious to you because you think about it all the time, but I’m not sure it’s been translated to the public as well. What exactly is it you feel God calling you to do? Thanks!

The Restory Conference is:

…a morning conference where I’ll be teaching you four specific things. (And I’m not the only speaker–there will be several restory testimonies shared throughout the event…and it’s not a writer’s conference or a women’s conference. It’s for men too. And there will be amazing worship).

Here are the 4 takeaways. You will learn how to:

  1. Restore your past. See your past in light of God’s healing. (Find practical ways to truly find the healing you’ve been longing for).
  2. Realize your worth. Understand that you are worth loving, and your life is worth living. (Uncover the lies that undermine your worth and be set free by God’s beautiful truth about your worth).
  3. Reframe your relationships. Deal with bitterness, unforgiveness, and heartache. (Learn how to live with joy despite the decisions of others.)
  4. Restory your future. Discover the “So what” to your story. (Now that God has restored you, you understand your worth, and you have a healthy perspective on your relationships, learn how will God use your story to change the world.)

If you’re interested in finding healing, a new perspective, freedom in your relationships, and renewed passion in your life, prayerfully consider nabbing a ticket to the Restory Conference. Click the graphic below to get your ticket. (This is a crowdfunding leap of faith. If it doesn’t fund by June 15th, I’ll not be putting the conference on).

If it does fund, then Lake Pointe Church will sell the remaining tickets. I’ll announce how to do that on the Restory event page here.

As I send this on Sunday night, we are ten days away from funding, and we’re at 29%. I’m grateful!

From the first part of this blog post, you can see I still struggle with my story. I have a hunch, you do too. We’re all a part of this beautiful transformation that is often messy and not very linear. We loop around, revisiting pain, then leap forward. And through it all, our faithful God sees us, helps us, and tells a better story–one we don’t fully know this side of eternity.

All that to say, it’s normal to have hard days. It’s normal to question. It’s normal to long for justice. It’s my sincere prayer that you’ll rest in knowing God has this. He has you. He has me. And that’s enough for this moment.