Those you most judge are often just like you


Piggybacking on yesterday’s post about my hyperactive conscience, I’ve been thinking about how I’ve been Mrs. Harshypants to myself. If I looked around at all the people in my life, I can see one or two who I judge nearly as mercilessly.

And here’s the kicker: each is just like me.

I see traits of weakness that I hate in that other person, things that reflect my own heart. Instead of loving them well, I curl inside myself and judge them. Maybe not on the outside, but inwardly I cringe. I pull away. I don’t engage. Because they remind me of my own shortcomings, failures and sins.

Which is why it’s instructive to me. Perhaps this is the truth: I can gauge how well I’m dethroning Mrs. Harshypants by how well I’m embracing those folks who rub me the wrong way (because they’re so much like me.)


Do a check on your relationships.

  • Who is most like you?
  • Who do you recoil from?
  • Why?
  • What traits do they have that drive you crazy?
  • Are they similar to your bad habits? In what ways can you offer grace to the people in your life who are similar, yet infuriating?
  • Any advice/insight on how to break free?

I look forward to your responses.


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