That time I gave up

letgo

It probably sounds cliche.

But during last week’s worship service, the words “I surrender all” flashed on the screen, and suddenly I had to stand and raise my hands and actually MEAN the words.

I surrender all.

My reputation.

My writing.

My control.

My speaking.

My relationships.

My finances.

My future.

My, my, my.

They really weren’t mine to begin with. And therein lies the problem.

When the ground shifts underneath you, you tend to grab at things, clinging to whatever you can possess, hoping not to face another loss.

Fear makes you cling too much.

And I’ve been clinging. So tight my knuckles hurt.

And honestly for the first time, as those words of surrender flew from my lips, I tasted freedom. I could honestly say that no matter what happens, I have Jesus, and all will be well. Everything else could fall all around me. My word subtraction could happen at every level. My career could fade into nothing. And I really don’t care.

Jesus + nothing = everything.

And when my hand is open, holding all my everythings, peace embezzles my heart, takes it over but in the gentlest of ways. Realizing the depth of agony Jesus went through to secure my freedom makes all these things I cling to seem insignificant. And knowing He is bigger, stronger, and more capable than me makes it easier to hand off my issues, my things, my ambitions to Him for safekeeping.

The surrendered place is the settled place after all.

 

 

Comments

  1. Ayla March 16, 2016 #

    I can so relate to wanting to cling to whatever you can from a place of fear. It’s a sobering thought that we may lose everything in order to gain Him but one that is so freeing when we surrender to it. Continuing to pray for you my friend. Love you.

    • Mary DeMuth March 16, 2016 #

      Jesus, be with Ayla in her time of loss and surrender. Fill her with YOU.

  2. Maria Morgan March 15, 2016 #

    Beautiful, Mary! Praying for you today as you enjoy the peace in that place of surrender.

    • Mary DeMuth March 15, 2016 #

      Thank you, Maria.

  3. DragonLady March 15, 2016 #

    This is so timely for me today. I went to bed last night thinking how “off” I felt. Some of it is just how I feel when I come down from a high stress situation (plumbing this time), but I felt so out of sorts as if my life was spinning out of control. Then a thought occurred to me that I felt I needed to write down so as not to forget: Whenever I try to take control and do things in my own power, that’s when life becomes unmanageable. And this would be where I need to surrender again.

    • Mary DeMuth March 15, 2016 #

      I feel the same way. It’s not an easy thing to do, so I applaud you for recognizing it.