Should you cut ties? Hang on? A combination of both?

Jun 26, 2011Archive

“Anonymous” left a comment on My Family Secrets, so I thought I would share this here. What would your advice be? Have you been through this, where you’re caring for your abusive parents?

Anonymous writes:

I actually came online to see if I could understand why my parents are quick to anger and be aggressive. My father is passive-aggressive or outright aggressive. It seems to have become worse with aging. There is not a lot of online information available about the problem.

A little over a year ago, I moved from another State to live with my parents—both in their seventies. Since I am single and alone and they are aging, I thought it would be a good move all around. I had forgotten how abusive they were to my siblings and me when we were children. It all came quickly back.

While there, another sister moved from out of State to stay with my parents also. If I had known she was coming, I would never have come. She is bitter and mean, and I knew it would be difficult. It was.

Now, though I have contact with my parents, it is limited. My mother causes rifts, but everyone else is affected by the horrid aftermath.

Another younger sister, who also lives nearby took me by complete surprise with her attitudes and behavior.

It’s all so toxic. It is a “love-free” zone. I really feel severing ties with the lot would be in my best interest; however, I remain torn and heartsick.

Q4u: What is your advice?