0020 – Dan Allender

Jun 20, 2016Restory Show

PODCAST ASIDE: This will be the last episode of Season One. We will resume with Season Two in September. I have some amazing stories lined up!

Dan Allender is one of my heroes. I’m so grateful to have the opportunity to share him with you. When I was in the trench of healing from my sexual abuse, it was Dan (without him knowing it) that ushered in the greatest healing.

How Our Stories Intersected

I haven’t met Dan in  person–yet. But I met him in the Nineties when I picked up a copy of his book The Wounded Heart. It was the first time I had words to describe my own pathway of sexual abuse recovery. Not only did the book open my eyes, but the workbook proved to be invaluable as I processed my own pain and healing.


In March, Christianity Today asked me to interview Dan about his latest book, Healing the Wounded Heart. That interview also became this podcast.

About Dan’s Story

Dan is an avid advocate for sexual abuse victims. He, too, is a victim, but didn’t realize it until partway through the writing of his first book. He currently runs The Allender Center and puts on seminars with folks like John Eldridge. He has a deep passion to see people become whole and wholly alive.

In His Own Words

“None of us are fully healed until we see Jesus. I have got continents of growing to do, and that healing process is a glorious, painful one at one level—but glorious in terms of its ongoing work of calling me more and more and more to become the person I was meant to be.”

“It’s the work of the kingdom of darkness against us. With regard to that, our natural tendency is to turn shame against us, along with contempt. That’s really the plan of the evil one. Satan means accuser. Yes we are naturally hard on ourselves, but then we also have an unnatural enemy that’s working to flame that, to fuel it with it some resources whisperings, attacks, threats, or seductions. He simply wants to add more shame.”

“But I am more excited about the potential of what the human heart can know and enjoy to receive and to give that I have ever been. So, I am asking Jesus for at least another 20 years to be able to do this kind of work. I actually like to write the 50th anniversary of The Wounded Heart.”

“For the victim, telling our story begins to heal a portion of our heart. Then telling our story 20 more times opens a door to healing another portion. Some people tell their story once, and it didn’t seem to help, so they stop telling it. Oh please hear me. You are meant to engage the story even in the sense that Jesus bears your scars through all eternity. His glorification didn’t take away the marks of the cross.”

Restory Recap

  • Dan shares his own story of a sexually inappropriate mom, and their consequent healing.
  • We are wounded in private, but we are healed in community.
  • Do not underestimate Satan’s schemes and power in sexual abuse.
  • Shame is debilitating.
  • Healing will come, and it continues to happen as we grow closer to Jesus.

[Tweet “You can heal from sexual abuse. Hear more about @allendercenter at the Restory Show.”]

As in all my episodes, I pray for you at the end. It’s my sincere hope that you’ll walk away from the Restory Show changed and challenged.

{Aside: You will want to pick up this book. Deeply profound. It ushered in more healing for me.}



If you really want to HEAL from past sexual abuse, I highly recommend you purchase the WORKBOOK. It’ll walk you through the healing process in an interactive way:


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The End

  • If this episode has literally knocked your socks off (sorry if your feet are now cold), would you please consider telling your friends and enemies and pets?
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  1. ro elliott

    Mary… I am going to start the Dan Allender (Seattle school ) lay counseling program in the fall… I am excited and anxious at the same time… Dan is a gifted man… Called of God…He came and did a 2 day marriage “conference” … The most powerful… Deep… Message …truth about marriage I have ever heard… I really really wish they would video this so more people can hear this needed needed perspective on marriage!!!!

    • Mary DeMuth

      Wow, sounds like a powerful time!