It’s been so fun to host such a wide variety of awesome people here. Today’s post comes from Josie Barone.
She describes herself as a scared and insecure little girl (okay, 43 qualifies as little girl in the book of Genesis) who battles with inadequacy, guilt and depression to name just a few. Yet, there is a God-given fire burning inside her to help those who struggle with these and similar issues.
Its name is Speedo. A special suit created to help swimmers perform at peak performance made its first appearance almost 100 years ago. This stretchy fabric revolutionized the competitive sport industry. Yet, since that time, the suit has made its way from the athlete to average individual and beyond. Today, it appears to be popular among middle age men with larger-than-average middles.
Have you noticed though, that a man wearing these too tight trunks instantly attracts attention? Maybe that is why I have grown to appreciate them. It takes courage to attempt to pull off such a skimpy suit. After all, what you see is what you get.
The real deal.
Think about it. Everything he is, or is not, is right out there in the open for all to see. Nothing is hidden from view.
I, on the other hand, about to travel to the coast in a couple of days contemplate what I will wear to the beach. The thought of me in swim attire brings on a cold sweat. My everything out in the open for all to see? Not! I have way too much that needs to be covered from the light of day.
So rather than accept me as is, I will hide underneath a nice full body coverup to make sure no cottage cheese lumps, stretch marks or other signs of wear and tear will surface. The wrap will do its work to keep them hidden under wraps.
All this aversion to exposure makes me wonder, is there more to my cover up than just the obvious?
Truth be told, I am not sure I want to be the real deal. I would rather people see my positive assets. The lumps and bumps of difficulties, marks of hurts, the wear and tear over the years; who wants to see this flawed figure anyway? She is not pretty.
The illusion of the person who is all put together is easier to pull off. What will people think if they see the real me? I have a long list of screw ups that continue to plague me.
Yet, the heaviness of all this covering up is taking its toll. I want to be free to be me. Free to throw caution into the wind and expose my true self.
Many layers need to be removed. The first being the heavy fabric of FEAR. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being found out. Fear of who knows what. I am not sure what it is I am afraid. Fear attempts to bind my efforts.
It is the confident person who is up front about who she is, flaws and all, that appeals to me. I want to be like her.
I will attempt to wear my suit with confidence. Scary, yes, I know. It will take more courage than I am capable. Parts of the real me have not seen the light of day in a long time.
Maybe I should bring along some sunscreen.