I posted this on Facebook yesterday, and it blew up (in a good way.) So I wanted to share it here, with you, my faithful, sweet, praying readers. I pray these words of frailty reach your heart.
I’ve come to the conclusion that God is sovereign over my career/writing/ministry/
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This internet thing has starved my soul of this kind of interaction. This pursuit of platform has marred my heart. This worry about money has emaciated my joy. (Have you ever felt this way?)
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During this Sabbatical, I long for simple. For healing. For rest. For jumping joyfully OFF the treadmill that is the publishing industry long enough to realize God’s hand in it all.
I may never be the popular one. I may never instigate a giant ministry. I may never write a bestselling book. I may be seen as dour, needy, tired, too serious, reactionary. And that may all be true.
But what I can do is be faithful. (And so can you!) And right now being faithful means to sloooooooowwwww down, listen, rest, and truly, truly, truly give this career/writing/ministry/
I’ve written well over 25 books in a decade, millions of words. I’ve built this crazy platform. I’ve done all the Right Things. And yet, to be honest, it hasn’t been enough in terms of success. (Of course, I know about Kingdom of God success, and I ardently pray that’s true for me, but I’m referring to being able to pay bills with what I make).
So, mind if I pray?
Jesus, I pray that You would speak joy back into me and revive the vision You gave me so many years ago.
And I pray for the person reading this that You would do the same. We all need fresh eyesight, new verve, and beyond everything else–fame, success, money, popularity–may it be that we revel in giving up for Your sake. That we see things as You do, You who stooped to earth to love messy us.
May it be that we see You in the small pieces of our days, when we have yet another opportunity to love You in the face of someone else. May it never be that we diminish what You empower–because You do Your absolute best work in weak folks like us.
We’re tired of being so dang strong. We are weary of managing reputations. We are sick sick sick of image. May it be that we bear Your image instead. Because Your image is what makes our image shine with love.
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We pray all these things because we’re a forgetful people. We forget that You lead a paradoxical kingdom. What is favored in this world is dismissed in Yours. What is applauded by men is lessened in light of Your fame. What is dissed by this world is often what is loved and praised by You.
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Give us eyes, dear Jesus, eyes to see this crazy kingdom of Yours. May we once again surrender, lay it all down, and give You full, complete, utter reign over our affairs. We love love love You with desperate joy. Amen.