Sometimes I get weird about my career. (Well, a lot, actually). And my best sounding board is my husband. We talked recently about the type of writing I do, why it doesn’t sell like crazy, and what I could do to rein in my expectations.
“You have to define success differently,” he said. “Your words are changing lives.”
I’ve so tried to do this, but it’s hard for this girl whose bent is achievement. I am grateful, so grateful, my words change lives. It’s completely humbling. But there are times, when I’m honest, that I grow sad over how much work I do and how little I seem to make at it.
Yet God hasn’t pulled the writing rug out from underneath me. He has continued to ask me to write. So I obey. And I write. And I try-try-try to let the outcome rest in His hands. I’m learning to be thankful for small, to realize that it’s grace, and to understand God’s kingdom isn’t measured by spectacular or fame or dollar signs. It’s measured by faithfulness in the small things when no one is watching.
Later that day, I got a direct tweet from my friend John. Ironic, since it came on the heels of my conversation with Patrick. Here is our quick correspondence:
@johnflurry “Don’t discount the riches you are storing up in heaven Mary. Your books are making an eternity in profit.”
@MaryDeMuth “Ah, you sound like what my hubby said today. I need to rest there.”
@johnflurry “It was a prompting from God. You offer so much.”
@MaryDeMuth “Thank you. So needed it.”
@johnflurry “I almost didn’t say it. Then God punched me. lol”
@MaryDeMuth “God’s funny like that.”
So I struggle to redefine success. To see it in light of being faithful to what God calls me to do, even in unnoticed moments.