Weirdly enough, I heard a Culture Club song on the radio yesterday: Karma Chameleon. And a phrase from that song stuck in my brain, so much so that I woke up with it this morning. I realized this snippet is actually great advice for marriage:
Every day is like revival
You’re my lover
Not my rival.
Imagine what our marriages and relationships would be like if we approached each other this way, both vertically and horizontally.
Vertically: Every day is like revival. What if we anticipated life like that? That we hoped for, prayed for, longed for God’s winds of revival to blow over our homes and our lives? What kind of revolution would that produce? Lately I’ve been convicted about my own selfishness, how sometimes I can be a me-monster. But if I stayed in anticipation for God’s revival, there’d be no room for the me-monster. Oh Lord, revive our homes. Revive my home. Revive my heart.
Horizontally: One hallmark of a good marriage is something psychologists call “assuming positive intent.” In other words, if you are thriving in your marriage, you “hope all things.” You assume the best about your spouse instead of jumping to negative conclusions at the onset. We get into trouble when we feel we must compete with our spouse, which makes us have to find fault so we win. But good ol’ Boy George (not exactly a bastion of marital advice I know) says otherwise. Our spouse is our lover, not our rival.
So this week, think vertically. Ask God to revive your marriage. And think horizontally. Become the spouse you long for your spouse to become. Let it start with you. Assume positive intent. Sing “You’re my lover, not my rival” today, remembering that your spouse is God’s unique gift to you.