I saw two movies today, both familiar.
One: Narnia. In English, no doubt. We’ve read the series to our children and have them on tape, so I am very familiar with the storyline. Perhaps that’s why I was surprised at what impacted me.
First, it was Aslan’s death. Something clicked inside my head, a little voice that whispered, “Jesus’ death was real.” As in He died. He really, really died. No longer breathing. No heartbeat. No life. He died. It harkens me back to those I love who have died, how cold my grandmother’s hand was when I touched it, how frozen my grandfather’s face was (he died almost a year ago), how desperately sad I was at ten when my father died and I never got to say goodbye.
And He rose.
Second, I cried most when Peter said, “For Narnia, for Aslan” before he charged forward in war. My heart leapt, caught in my teeth. Because I realized all this suffering we’ve done in France is for a reason. It’s for the joy of heaven and for the sake of Jesus. Seeing that pictured on a screen in Cannes renewed my heart for the fight.
Tonight we watched Little Women, actually we ended up being Sophie and me. She’s thirteen today and I’m sensing the crossing over with us, from mother-daughter to mother-friend. We cried when Beth died, cried when Jo found love at last under the canopy of a rain-drenched umbrella. But the words that struck me most was when Jo’s future husband said something to the effect of, “I thought you had more in you. This story has so very little of you in it.” He went on to encourage her to write from her heart, to pour her life onto the page. Tough love, but good words.
Those are the words the Lord has cajoled me with this year, to tell stories with myself impaled on the page. It’s excruciating. Cathartic. Frightening. But I’d rather write from the depth of me than write words others may want to read but aren’t reflective of my heart.
So here I am. Living in France with knowledge afresh of Jesus’ very real sacrifice for me, an Edmund-prone girl. Running forward to the fight for the sake of Him and His country. And penning my heart so, hopefully, others will see Aslan there.