I’m pumped to have Tammy Helfrich here on Live Uncaged. She is a wife, Mom, and writer. She’s passionate about marriage, motivation, and sharing stories of people who are making a difference. You can follow Tammy on Facebook here. Or Twitter @tammyhelfrich. Here’s Tammy!
I held on with a death grip.
I would not let go.
He would tug and pull and bring me to tears.
But, I would hold on with everything I had.
Because I was right.
I knew what I was doing.
I knew how to work hard.
I had to depend on me.
Nobody else would take care of me.
I was doing okay.
I was making it.
Yet, the lump in my throat would come.
My chest would tighten.
My feet would feel like they wanted to move, even though I was digging in my heels.
The tears would start, and turn into sobs.
But I absolutely would not do it.
I would not give up control.
I flat out refused.
This described me for most of my adult life. These episodes normally happened in church. Sometimes they happened at random places. But, mostly in church.
God had been pursuing me for a long time. But I would not fully surrender.
I believed in Him – always
I knew His scriptures
I knew Him intellectually
That was enough, right?
I had built a big wall. A huge wall. It was strong, and firm. But slowly and surely, God started knocking down the bricks.
He started surrounding me with people who were living lives I didn’t understand. They had something that was different. They had something I wanted.
They had peace. They had security. They had freedom. Freedom in living the life God wanted them to live.
He kept slowly knocking those bricks down. And then, finally, I started kicking them down. One day, I ran full force into the wall, knocked them down, and landed safely in His arms.
I felt like my heart would burst. It was freedom, and joy, and peace.
I stepped into the water. The bricks were still dragging at my feet. They had fallen, but they were still there. Then, I sunk into the water. I let it wash over me. And the bricks fell off. They were no longer weighing me down. They fell deep below. The sin, and shame, and doubts. Gone. Forgotten. Resting on the ocean floor.
Then I stood up. Let the water rush off of me. My smile was bright. I was ecstatic. I was free.
There is an unimaginable freedom and peace that come when we fully surrender. The door to the cage of our old life is flung open. We are set free. Free to live life uncaged.
Q4U: Do you have walls that need to be kicked down? What step can you take to start knocking them down?