I received this email from Margaret Shearman this week, and it blessed me so much. Her words are hard, yet encouraging. And I knew you’d be blessed by the way she describes her own healing. I’m posting this with her permission.
I wrote to you a little over two weeks ago and thanked you giving me hope. I am just finishing up Thin Places and the read is incredible.
So much of how you lived your life is like I lived my life as a child. I was raped at five, had two alcoholic parents, my father died when I was 11. my mother never showed feelings, I lived pretty much alone and no one believed me when I told others about the rape.
As I continued on in the book, I began to have physical pain all over my body and all I wanted to do was cry…..but couldn’t. The grief I felt was stuck where it has been for many years as I am now 58 years old. I wanted to stop reading but knew I had to continue. When I got to the chapter about narcissism things began to change. In my story I was given the ID of borderline personality disorder which I have objected to. The reason I object is that no one will listen to me long enough to hear my story. Back in the 1980’s this was a catch-all diagnosis for women who didn’t fit into any specific criteria. It sort of put women in a cage so they could be tamed. At least that is how I have felt. My needs went unmet from a psychiatric point of view and that has taken it toll on me. I honestly have felt I have been living in a cage!
But after I have read Thin Places I have begun to befriend some of the past in my life and can see where God may have been. I am beginning to take the victim-hood out of the equation as I look back and I feel a sense of empowerment I haven’t seen before. Today, my body doesn’t hurt like it has since I started reading Thin Places. I have a sense of well-being I haven’t had in awhile.
Your writing brought forth some very raw feelings and experiences and put them up front as a Christian in a way many Christian’s won’t because it might dirty what a Christian is. You have me life through sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ as life is for so many people.
I have been told I should write as I have been told I am a good writer. Maybe someday I can put my life to words as I sense now I have cracked my heart open a bit. Your words have helped it be okay.
Mary here. Yes, Margaret, continue writing. Put your life to words. You’ve already helped people today. Amen.