I wore a red dress the night I keynoted at The Declare Conference this month. The organizers passed out my speaking cards, one to each woman there. (A huge thanks to Christy at Thoughtful Revolution for the design. See the front below:)
The back of the card is at the top of the post.
So I wore my red dress, then spilled salad dressing on it. I wiped it off with my napkin soaked with water, then all the silly voices started their assault. “You are old. You’re a mess. How can you stand up there and talk when you’re so NOT together?” As usual, I tried to quiet those voices, rejoicing that a podium would hide the stains.
And really, in retrospect, what would it really matter if I had a stained dress? Who cares?
As I spoke, I sensed God’s presence. I could feel His words fly through me. This was confirmed many times over with different women saying very specific things about obscure words I said. God is good. He is faithful. He speaks through girls with soiled dresses.
But those crazy voices returned throughout the weekend. Especially since I felt oldish there, feeling my recent weight gain, shaming myself for eating that cheesecake.
On the last night, I noticed that there were some cards left over in the back of the auditorium. Being a thrifty oldish woman who eats too much cheesecake, I decided to gather them. So I did. And as I did, I noticed the words scrawled along the top, “Mary DeMuth is so cute.”
Folks, this MINISTERED to me. It helped! It made me know that God saw my insecurities. That He loved me enough to have me notice those cards, then gather them in such a way that I saw the little love note. The woman didn’t write that so I would see it. But God made it so.
So if you’re struggling with insecurity, with feeling uncool or noncute, take heart. God sees. He thinks you’re beautiful or handsome (depending on your gender!). He delights in you because He made you. What a joy! What great news!
Mind if I pray for you?
Jesus, please send the reader of this post a tangible reminder this week that YOU SEE. That You cherish. That You are aware of insecurities and needs. We trust You for this. Amen.