God is good even without answers

I’m in my bed trying to recover, off to the doctor in a bit. I wanted to update you so you can continue to pray for our family.

Julia remains the same. We’re looping in practically every specialist known to man to try to figure out what’s going wrong. She can walk a little better, but she the headaches come when she stands or sits up (yet no aura, no sensitivity to light, no vomiting), which makes me think it’s not a migraine. Plus the migraine med that was supposed to knock it out did NOTHING. I think that’s what sent me over the edge last night. I thought we knew what was up, only to realize we didn’t know squat.

What I know:

  1. Julia is the best place possible with the most amazing, caring, smart doctors. They are trying their best. They’re coordinating care, running an appropriate amount of tests. The specialists meet together, which is a very good thing.
  2. We are not ruling out spiritual warfare, by any count. We’ve prayed. Two pastors from church have prayed. Folks have prayed over the phone. People around the world have rallied. She’s cried out to God too. Which sometimes, to be honest, makes it even harder. The very real question becomes, Why won’t God let us know?
  3. It’s the not knowing that’s eating us up. Would you pray for either a true, real diagnosis? Or that God would give us peace if we never, ever know what’s wrong.
  4. Whatever this is, it doesn’t seem to be life threatening. I have to keep reminding myself of this.
  5. Our other two kids need prayer and support. Aidan is well surrounded by friends, as is Sophie, but I’m praying for more to step in and shoulder what they are going through.
  6. I have limits. I wish I didn’t. But I’m very tired and frail right now, mainly because I just came off a very emotional trip with no sleep right into the lion’s den of an undiagnosed disease. I need rest, but I’m not sure if that’s plausible right now.
  7. All of us want this to be over. I am praying this is not a long haul thing.
  8. God is working. He is on the throne, and He makes himself evident through the loving deeds of His church. I love Him for it.
  9. Patrick is shouldering most of this and needs prayer too. He is very strong and wholly capable, but I know he must be bewildered.

I’m surprised I can write right now. I’m thankful for you and your prayers. I’m sorry I can’t return emails or comment here, but be assured I read every one. Sometimes I read them to Julia, which seems to help.

We will rest in God.

I’m reminded of this:

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:23

and

When all kinds of trials and temptations crowd into your lives my brothers, don’t resent them as intruders, but welcome them as friends! (James 1:2 JB Phillips translation).

Please pray we’d have harmony as a family as we walk through this. Pray we’d learn the art of welcoming trials as friends, not as intruders. Pray we’d love each other well and be gracious to the hospital staff. Pray God would provide great support for our other two kids. Pray for provision. Pray for stress alleviation. Pray for health. Thank you.

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