Friendships Changing: What Panics Me Part 2

Jun 7, 2012Find joy today, Heal from the past

This is part two of a 3-part series about panic. Yesterday I talked about pot lucks freaking me out. Today? Friendships–particularly when they change.

As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, I have a hard time letting friendships go, even when they’ve run their course. I obsess over what I’ve done to create or contribute to the demise. And I pursue even after it’s probably not wise to do so. In short, I panic when I sense things are changing.

Today one of my friends came to mind while I was driving. I felt that familiar panic. What hadn’t I done? What should I have done? Why weren’t we close any more?

The problem with that kind of thinking is twofold:

  1. I shift all the blame to me and don’t adequately assess both sides of the story.
  2. I forget that sometimes God moves people out of our lives for reasons only He understands.

When relationships go sour (or we move away, or someone changes), we don’t need to become grabby and clingy. While it’s good to at least have one conversation of exploration, it’s not good to continually obsess over the change in relationship. Talk about it, then if you sense God giving you the go ahead, MOVE ON.

There are new relationships He has for you. New friendships that will uniquely enhance and shape you in this period of your life. And as #2 intimated, God has His reasons for moving you on (and moving your friend on). Even if there’s no closure, you need to create closure in  your mind, otherwise your head will constantly flurry about what happened.

Simply put, pray this out loud:

God, thank You for ______________. You know I love that person. But I choose to release _____________ in Your hands. Bring _____________ back into my life at Your choosing. Or not. But whatever happens, don’t let me get stuck back there. Today, please help me live in anticipation for the new friendships You have for me. And remind me that I will see ____________ in heaven someday, where our friendship will be beautiful and free. Amen.

What about you? Do you panic when your friendships change? What happens? How have you grown in this area?