I’m going to be starkly honest here. In my career I have one large regret, and it’s this: I’ve chased gurus far too much. Yes, I’ve prayed. Yes, I’ve relinquished. Yes, I’ve written and spoken the words I felt the Lord wanted me to share.

But when it came to marketing, I tended to run after anyone who touted a formula.

One time I even followed the advice of a guru that cost me several thousand dollars and merited not ONE speaking gig. In the meantime, through my personal contacts and amazing relationships (thank you, Jesus!), I got three speaking gigs.

It’s as if the Lord won’t allow me to follow a formula. He must know that I am that obedient kind who flocks to formulas and might point to a formula (instead of Him) as to why I sold well or booked well. And so He thwarted. So many times I cannot even count them.

This led to some deep frustration on my part. I’d say something like, But I’ve been such a good girl, doing all the right things authors and speakers are supposed to do. I’ve paid my dues a hundred times over. I’ve followed steps. I’ve done what experts told me I had to do to build a platform, a presence, a tribe. And none of it seems to be working. Why? Why? Why?

And then the sweet, quiet voice of the Lord would remind me of this important truth:

“I do My best work through the dependent ones. I am the formula.”

In those moments, this important truth settled me. Ah yes. It’s not about running after experts. It’s not about honing my message perfectly, or writing the best tagline, or getting on bigger and bigger stages.

Honestly? It’s simply about dependence. About letting God be God, waiting patiently for His timing and being deeply content whether success comes or not. And either way, to praise Him and seek to bring HIM FAME through it all. And to spend way more time on my knees than on the Internet building my own kingdom.

That’s what I’ve learned and what I continue to learn.

Have you been there? You’ve tried-tried-tried to make something happen only to hit brick walls and wonder what you’re doing wrong. Maybe this is God’s way of getting you closer to dependence. It’s not about following people’s surefire ways to succeed. It’s about following Jesus through relationship.