Defending yourself

Apr 5, 2011Find joy today, Heal from the past

I have been guilty of taking up my cause.

There, I said it.

I’ve lived for micromanaging my own reputation, forgetting to let God be in control of that.

I’m learning, though.

I’m learning to let go of what people think of me. To let negative opinions (whether they be accurate or wrong) roll away from me.

Still, it’s not easy. Especially when someone has a wrong opinion of me. I’d rather run around like a crazy woman letting everyone know that I’m not what he/she thinks of me, that my sum total is better, more laudable. But that only makes me look oddly guilty. And it expends energy I should be expending for Jesus and His kingdom. I wonder how much time I’ve wasted trying to manage my reputation when I should be serving others and letting opinions stay as they are.

Ouch. Convicting.

But I’ve learned the beauty of silence, thankfully. I remember Jesus saying not. one. word. before His accusers, when He certainly had a right to. His silence, no doubt, unnerved them. But He had such a well-connected heart to the Father that He knew He lived for the Audience of One, not the audience of the crowd. Oh to live like that!

I’ll end this post with a quote that has helped me reorient myself toward silence and trust:

“There is a place of stillness that allows God the opportunity to work for us and give us peace. It is a stillness that ceases our scheming self-vindication, and the search for a temporary means to an end through our own wisdom and judgment. Instead, it lets God provide an answer, through His unfailing and faithful love, to the cruel blow we have suffered. Oh how often we thwart God’s intervention on our behalf by taking up our own cause or by striking a blow in our own defense! May God grant each of us this silent power and submissive spirit.” A. B. Simpson


What happened the last time you tried to defend yourself? What have you learned about managing your reputation that can help us grow?