Cramps are from Satan

May 8, 2006Family Uncaged

Folks have told me I’m authentic.

Today I’m in an “authentic” mood.

What’s the deal with cramps? Hmmm? Ouch! Why do I have to still have these things? Oh, how to describe…let’s try this: cramps feel like knives slicing through my innards in a constant, relentless rhythm–like serial killers in my gut. (Don’t mess with me about my mixed metaphors, please).

And here’s another thing I just love about being a woman. I’m getting wrinkles, but the acne continues. Why? Why? Why? Shouldn’t I just have one without the other? I’m not a teenager anymore (as evidenced by said eye-wrinkles). Can’t I have a break from it all?

Thankfully, I have Lindt chocolate. I have discovered this nirvana at the grocery store. Here in France they have a WHOLE AISLE dedicated to chocolate. The bar that has blessed me with unspeakable joy is this. Though Satan is giving me cramps, God has had grace on me and given me chocolate. This cherry hazelnut creation is AMAZING. Wow. Oh my.

Signed: Relevantgirl with chocolate and cherries all over her face