Confession: I trust Money

Jul 10, 2013Find joy today


I was reading Hebrews 11 yesterday, reminding myself again of this convicting verse, 11:6: “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

See that word, IMPOSSIBLE? It hurts to read it. So much of my life I’ve thought pleasing God meant doing a bunch of things, of being productive. And I honestly haven’t thought my incessant worry about money meant anything to the Almighty God. I worked hard, hoped for money, and placed my trust firmly in its ability to rescue me.

I have trusted money to solve my problems.

I have run to finances first when I wanted freedom from stress.

I remember my friend Paul in Ghana who can’t run to money when life knocks him down. He can’t go to a doctor when he’s sick with malaria (it costs money). He can’t buy his way out of trouble. All he can do is run first to God, trusting Him as Provider.

Sometimes I am jealous of my friend Paul. He has everything stripped away, no props, no crutches. He has to trust God. I, instead, run to what I feel will fill me. I naively (sadly) believe in lesser things. Surrounded (drowning?) in stuff keeps me insulated from trusting Him. I wrongly believe that when a certain amount of provision comes my way, then I will stop worrying.

But worrying is a terrible disease. It’s cancer. It cannot stop growing. (Click to tweet this.) It’s in its nature to multiply despite how much we have. If I cannot be grateful and peaceful RIGHT NOW, I will never be grateful and peaceful with more.

I love what Ian Morgan Cron writes in his excellent book, Chasing Francis.


“There is a law in physics that applies to the soul. No two objects can occupy the same space at the same time; one thing must displace another. If your heart’s crammed tight with material things and a thirst for wealth, there’s no space left for God.” Ian Morgan Cron. Chasing Francis

Oh dear.

There it is in black and white. Can’t serve two masters. Can’t trust two masters.

Money isn’t the answer to my stress. Jesus is. But my heart’s been so full of my own schemes for provision that I’ve neglected to trust God for His provision. (Click to tweet this.)

I bow before the cross, the beautiful, terrible cross. That place where my desires are crucified and I am undone, stripped, bare. Where I realize that I took nothing into this world and I will take NOTHING from it. Money is small. It’s a tool for the kingdom, but it is not my savior. It cannot make my heart right. It cannot ultimately solve my issues, curb my stress, or love me. It simply is. But God is the Great I Am.

Without trust, I cannot please God.

So I surrender right now, as I type this, asking for forgiveness. I choose right now to shift my heart away from worry, from believing money solves everything, from materialism, from striving like a crazy woman. I place my gaze on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my wavering faith.

Will you join me?