I received this correspondence by surprise, and got permission to share it with you. Now, this has to do with my first published book, Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God, but it could have just as easily been a letter I’d written or a blog post. What I mean by that is your words matter in this world.
If you’re a writer, fight against discouragement. Save letters like this to remind you that words are powerful, and the more we wield generous ones, the more lives we’ll see moved and changed.
Writer friend, don’t give up.
Facebook says “If you know Mary, send her a message.” I don’t know you but you are in my story. So here I am wanting to share with you how God used you to save this pastor’s wife, first time mom’s life as well as her newborn baby in the summer of 2005.
I’ve recently had the opportunity to “count it all joy through trials of many kinds” which sends my memory right back to where Jesus rescued me from death and destruction and set my feet upon His rock through reading “Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God.”
I was 24, pregnant with my first baby, arrogant and knew everything about everything especially motherhood. And then I became one. God graciously and traumatically changed my 2-page, handwritten home-birth plan which humbled me in the most profound ways. After being released from the hospital (not in the plan) a couple weeks after delivery, I found myself weeping uncontrollably in the bathtub holding my baby, hearing EVIL say, “just drop her, just drop her…”
To be called “mommy” was what I dreamed of since I was a child and now I had arrived, hopeless, in complete despair with this perfect, tiny human that resembled my mother in law more than my reflection.
It wasn’t until months later did I realize I was suffering from post partum depression and this was not a normal part of the new job title. I needed help and knew my source was Jesus and yet the spiritual battle going on for my soul was almost tangible. I was exhausted and annoyed, almost repulsed at the thought of another to do list task which was read your Bible. I am a pastor’s wife, people come to me for help. I don’t even know how to articulate what I’m feeling but to cry.
I then came across this devotional book called “Ordinary Mom, Extra0rdinary God” on Amazon. I figured it was only a couple pages at a time to digest, that may help. And it did.
The Lord was so gracious and patient with this cracked pot. The pages of encouragement and scripture were such relief to this tormented and spiritually anorexic soul.
After my baby’s first birthday, I was finally able to kneel without pain from her delivery. Jesus had healed my physical body but more importantly saved me from me. I was able to open the Bible again and meet this Extraordinary God like I never knew Him before.
I have recently had the opportunity to share my depression journey more publicly which greeted me again after 2 more babies and am so thankful that Satan is damned back to hell every time I get to share it to encourage one more mom.
While praying about what the Lord will have me do in this next season of life to proclaim God’s glory and power through scripture and my own story, I thought today, “You’ve never even shared with Mary DeMuth what her obedience in writing did for you.”
Mary, thank you for being obedient to the Lord and sharing your heart in the pages of your book. I have since purchased it and given it to many fellow ordinary moms. I am a life (along with my husband and 4 little girls) that was changed for His glory!
Love, Squeeze (lifelong nickname)