The Why


TODAY, my 36th book releases. It’s called The Seven Deadly Friendships. Way back when, well, you know the story–in the popsicle stains of childhood, I experienced some difficult relationships. Those raising me had some interesting tendencies. Predatory ones. Narcissistic ones. My father sexually groomed me. Others would forget I existed. (I have worked through forgiving […]

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When Facebook Friends Fight


I read this post last Spring and asked the author if I could feature it here as The Seven Deadly Friendships released.   The person agreed as long as I used a pseudonym. So this helpful post is written by Benjamin Tatian. Benjamin titled it: Judgment, Conflict and Vulnerability Dear Friends— A little over a […]

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Hard Friendships: When to Stay


This is a guest post by Virginia Garrett originally title The Friend You Need to Hang on to. I loved it so much in the Spring that I asked her if I could repost it here with her permission. She said YES. It relates so beautifully to my upcoming book The Seven Deadly Friendships! … […]

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I can attest that one person’s few minutes of predatory behavior does harm someone else–for years. Some of you have questioned whether I’ve healed, and some have told me to move on. Others have judged me for not coming forward immediately (not knowing that I did). One commenter wrote this: “Sorry to hear about your […]

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Be Wise about Repentant Predators


We’ve possibly grown numb to the cavalcade of abuse allegations both within and outside the church. Recently the Grand Jury investigation in Pennsylvania went public. Willow Creek is reeling in the aftermath of allegations against its founder, Bill Hybels. A well known missions agency is dealing with one woman’s painful story of one of their […]

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ANONYMOUS: From someone injured by the church

still here

Someone sent me this post, and I felt so strongly about it, I decided to post it. These are not my words. They are the words of someone who has been hurt deeply by the church. There are many of you who can relate to this post, and I pray it blesses you. … Though […]

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Day of Reckoning


Consider these definitions of Day of Reckoning: If someone talks about the day of reckoning, they mean a day or time in the future when people will be forced to deal with an unpleasant situation which they have avoided until now. via COBUILD Advanced English Dictionary. Copyright © HarperCollins Publishers Noun: A time when the effects of one’s past mistakes or misdeeds catch up with one. […]

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Drop by Drop: how justice for abuse victims becomes a mighty river


This morning on my way to work out, I listened to an NPR story of a woman who is recovering from a stroke. She used to be in the US military in Afghanistan, and, while there, engaged with local people. She found poetry to be a beautiful entry point for understanding and conversation. Post-stroke, she […]

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Those Who Knew and Said Nothing Are Culpable


Last night I watched the Paterno movie (HBO films). While it is not a documentary, the film agonizes the watcher with every single side of the sexual abuse “debate” especially when it comes to institutional protectionism. Here’s the trailer: The entire movie grieved me, triggered me, saddened me. I see the bravery of the victim […]

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Poop Brownies and Predators


“We are all sinners,” people post when a sexual predator, who happens to be a Christian leader, is outed. Some other frustrating (albeit well intentioned, perhaps?) responses: “Let’s not cast the first stone.” “Gossip is a sin, so by posting or warning, you are gossiping.” “Judge not lest you be judged.” “Women should expect harassment […]

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