I spoke to a friend who had something I’ve long wanted. I don’t covet what she has. I know we can’t afford it. I’m thankful she can have it. But instead of being quiet, I said out loud, “I’ve wanted one, but I can’t afford it.”
Those words have been swirling around in my head lately. Were they wrong? Right? Honest? Whiny?
My kids are so accustomed to hearing those words come out of my mouth I wonder if they’re preconditioned not to ask for things. I wonder if I’m off-putting to those who appear to have more. I wonder if I’m being sour-hearted.
The truth? Everyone lives on a budget. Everyone has constraints. We all have to muck our way through financial demands. But I wonder if by sharing my frustration out loud if I’m not cementing my lot in life. Of course I don’t believe words are magical, that if I utter the wrong words, something bad will happen, or the correct spell, and good things will come my way. But I do know I could change the way I frame my words that leave more room for God’s provision and less room for my discouragement. Does that make sense?
A better way for me to phrase my money stress would be either to say nothing at all and bring our needs/wants boldly before the Father who gives good gifts to His children or to simply say, “God I trust You to provide however You want, wherever You want, whatever You want.” Or maybe “I look forward to seeing how God might provide this thing. It’s a great adventure.”
As a writer, I’m on a fixed, yet sporadic, income. I’m thankful for my hubby’s consistent paycheck. Without it, I couldn’t pursue this dream of writing full time. But I’ve let the lack of funds (or their fickleness) sadden me, discourage me, and bring me to a grumpy, growling, grumbly state.
Would you pray that I do better this week? That I’ll utter faith-filled words? That I’ll bring my needs and wants directly to Jesus? That He might encourage me as a writer, maybe even financially?
What about you? What do you say out loud about money? Do you want to change the way you speak about it? If you were to give me advice, what would it be?