10 Reasons Why I’m Not Cool

I’m a mess, really. Not cool. Not trendy. Not even remotely like Bono or other cool people that can pull off shades indoors.

In case you needed a top ten list, here’s mine. 10 Reasons why I’m not cool.

  1. Sometimes I mean to pull on  my running shoes and jog my way through the neighborhood only to don my robe and start writing with nasty haystack hair…for several hours.
  2. I sometimes get to the dinner hour and resort to canned spaghetti sauce and frozen Costco corn.
  3. I put on not-so-cute clothes to run errands, hoping I won’t see anyone. (This never used to be a worry for me. As a Seattle girl, I grunged my way to the grocery store without impunity, but you simply don’t “do” that in Texas, at least that’s what I gather from the horrified stares from the little children riding in those car-shaped carts). Wow, that was a long parenthetical.
  4. I holler at my dog (then instantly regret it when he looks at me with those buttery-sweet brown eyes.)
  5. I holler at my kids (then instantly regret it when THEY look at me with those Daddy-brown orbs).
  6. I holler at my cat when she vomits (yet again) on our down comforter that is a beast to wash.
  7. I holler when I run my toe into furniture, but I usually don’t regret that.
  8. I can’t fit into some of my clothes (see the note about NOT running).
  9. I start my gardening year off with zeal, hoarding seed catalogs and dreaming about heirlooms, only to poof out midsummer when Satan has absconded Texas weather.
  10. I sit on airplanes and don’t share Jesus with everyone I see. (This is a point of great failure and shame)

What about you? What makes you anti-cool? How are you a mess? Inquiring minds want to know.

 

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