Well, if I’ve blocked something major, it’s still blocked and hasn’t worked its way out yet. I’ve been trying to dip into my childhood memories and find that I can’t recall a lot. Don’t know if that’s because I’ve blocked out the trauma of growing up with a parent who had a volatile personality, or if I just have a bad memory. I know that I lived in my head a lot, reading, daydreaming, wondering.

May God continue to free you from those years of pain.

Oh Mary.  Rejoicing with you.

Hi Mary ~
I am almost 59 years of age now and a very traumatic incident that took place in my life when I was 12 years of age is what the Lord has brought to me to heal from this past year. I am still struggling with it; I have cried many tears and had never realized to what extent this tragedy had affected my entire life until the Lord brought me to it. It has taken much testimony writing and sharing; tears, oh my goodness, so many tears.

You recently told me I should write about overcoming my fears. Well, I believe your words were straight from the Lord, so I have been writing my story…only regarding fearful situations. Now that I have reached that point in my story; the time to write about this incident, I am finding myself away from the computer. It is so painful. I need to brave it up; maybe someday the Lord will bring someone to me who will need to read my story; I dont’ know.
Please pray for me, Mary. I need so much to complete this, but it is not going to be easy to relive it.

Hi All!  I usually don’t respond but after rereading your blog, I thought I must as I relate to the trauma as well as having memory blocks.  I came from not one but 2 abusive marriages.  My second marriage is a fog.  It is sad as my daughter was born in the height of it all and I remember her birth and what not but events with my ex are a total blur. This past June, it was my daughters graduation from high school.  It has been since 1998 since I have seen my ex-husband.  It was for the best as my mind and body needed healing from the abuse.  My daughter told me she did not know if he would be there but that she had invited him.  The morning of graduation I was on pins and needles, scared of the unknown-praying for God’s guidance and love but it struck me then…that morning, I must forgive him for all the harsh abuse I received so many years ago.  I sat down on the bed at 9am and prayed to have a soft kind heart with no remorse for this man.  The Lord touched my life that day in many ways.  My daughter graduated…Halleleuah!  I finally saw my ex husband for the first time in what over 10 years and I had peace.  I gazed across the stage and little did I know my gaze would be met by him.  I smiled and waved and he the same back.  Unbeknowing to me, my daughter saw the whole thing waiting to walk the line to the chairs.  She questioned me later that night and said you know mom I love you, you have a forgiving spirit.  I asked what she was talking about and she said, ”mom-I saw what you did today-you smiled and waved at a man who physically and mentally abused you and that takes a special heart with alot of forgiveness”  I looked at my daughter with love and said “honey, there is nothing impossible with Our Father Who Art In Heaven.  He can move mountains!”  At that we hugged each other and grew closer as a mother and daughter should at another milestone we conquered.  Thank You For Reading This…

I have a friend in France doing ministry with her family. They’ve been there less than a year. She’s struggling a bit and his feeling down. I thought of you when I read her last blog post — knowing you’ve been in a similar situation. She’s a writer, too, and a darn good one. I love that God gives us space and grace and time to process, or not, as we need to –he’s with us all along the way.

The only positive memory I have had so far about any traumatic event is that I made it through to tell the story and help others.

smooches,
Larie

Sept. 11, 2001 is probably the most significant date in the 21st Century. However, on that particular day, I could not think of the date. I was a newspaper reporter working in Springfield, MO. I kept asking myself: “What is the date?” I knew it was a Tuesday, but I could not bring forth the actual date in my mind until I was driving home very late that night in the quiet of my car. I don’t know if this fits with your post, but it’s one of the oddest things that happened to me. I just remember struggling all day long to think of the date — Sept. 11 — and didn’t even think to ask the person next to me.