Heal from the past

Ted Dekker on Forgiveness

I met Ted Dekker several years ago through writing circles. One of the things that stands out most to me was a statement he made as a speaker at the Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference. Here he is signing a book for my friend Leslie at that conference.

The statement absolutely set me free as a novelist. He said, “The beauty of redemption shines brighter on a dark canvas.” In other words, we’re not doing anyone any favors by sanitizing the darkness. The more we share it…

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Why Affection is Hard for Sexual Abuse Victims

I have a picture of my cat Scout here for a reason.

She is a typical feline, aloof, set apart. She can take or leave my affection. (According to the picture, she would rather ponder nature and read the ESV Bible). Her indifference makes me want to pursue and pet her. This creates some funny antics–me chasing, she horrified, running away.

It’s strange that I long to be affectionate with an aloof cat, and yet when it comes to those I love the most, I struggle deeply with showing my love via touch. It’s been a conundrum many years. And I’m…

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That One Time I Was Insecure

Truth: Actually that One Time = My Whole Life.

Ever feel that way?

I often feel small. Overlooked. Unhinged.

One event sticks out. There were Important People milling about. Gatekeeper folks who could make or break my career with one word. And like a typical insecure girl, I secretly longed for approval. Sure I knew my security was based solely on the completed work of Jesus Christ, but that truth had yet to make the trek from head to heart.

I needed to be recognized. I wanted someone to champion my talent. I believed that Important People held the key to my sweet…

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Living Without Them

I think Bono’s onto something when he sings, “I can’t live with or without you.” Except that the without you part slays my heart today.

Last summer, my mom’s husband, my stepfather Mark, left this earth because of cancer.

On March 4th, my friend Twilla, a friend to many, left this earth because of cancer.

I hate cancer.

I can live without Mark and Twilla (I have to), but I don’t really want to.

My life following Mark’s death blurred. My life following Twilla’s death has a similar haze. A general pall that causes my mind to slow down, fumble my words,

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What I Knew in My Deep Places {Guest post by Margot Starbuck}

I’m grateful to have my friend Margot Starbuck share space here today. I normally don’t have guest posts, but hers is so beautiful and so closely tied to Not Marked, that I knew it would bless you. Margot Starbuck is the author of the newly-released Not Who I Imagined: Surprised by a Loving God.


Connect at MargotStarbuck.com or on Facebook.

Meet awesome Margot!! Isn’t she amazing?


I heard them coming up behind me on the sidewalk, horsing around the…

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Get 2 Books for Less than a Monkey

Note: This offer lasts until Monday March 10 at midnight, CST. (But you can buy the monkey any time you wish).

Here’s the monkey in question:

monkeyYou can buy him at Amazon for a flat $20. He won’t teach you anything. He may listen to your problems. Or your dog may take a shining to him and carry him around, marring him with dog drool. He has no wisdom about spiritual warfare (at least I don’t think so), and he has not endured healing from sexual abuse. He is fluffy, so…

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Replace the Words and Change Your Life

At the If: Gathering a week and a half ago, speaker Bianca Olthoff shared the familiar phrase, “Hurt people hurt people.” But then she said this: “Freed people free people,” and oh how I resonated.

You may have hurt or damaged others. Others may have hurt or damaged you. But because of Jesus, that is not your fate. You don’t have to resign yourself to messing up others or wallowing in the mess from the past (click to tweet).

Yes, it’s true. Hurt people hurt people. Damaged people damage people. Messed up people mess…

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Last Day to Get Freebies {a joyful reminder}

I sure hope you had an amazing Valentine’s Day. We have three February birthdays this month (mine, hubby’s, Aidan’s), so sometimes Valentines gets relegated to second place. This blog post is a quick reminder that if you’d like the free healing resources (See post here for details) you will need to purchase Not Marked by tonight at midnight (CST). Here’s what to do.

To recap, buy Not Marked (Feb 10-17 only) by clicking this button.


(If you choose to have Amazon send…

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Trauma MESSES with you

I received a message from a friend who hadn’t been sexually abused, but she had experienced the trauma of divorce as a child. She said she was learning how to heal from that, so reading Not Marked has helped her.

We survive many traumas in our lives, but we tend to minimize each trauma’s impact. We figure it’s no big deal. Other people have gone through more horrific things, so why are we to worry about our little issues?

Here’s the truth: Trauma (no matter what form it takes) messes with you (click to tweet).

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World Premier of the Not Marked Book Trailer!

I’m just so very happy to share this with you today! The first part is me telling a bit of my story. The bulk of the video is cardboard testimonies of people who have walked through sexual abuse, and then there’s some hope added to the end for good measure.

The main gist? You are not alone in your story. I promise. There are others. And there is hope, dear, dear one.

May this HOPE bless you!

Not marked: Card Board Testimonies from Ufilmhouse.com on Vimeo.

Would you do a quick share?

I just watched the…

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