We can’t see our growth when we grow the most.

17 Comments 16 February 2012

We all struggle. We all have these thoughts that echo our defeat. We all have our pits where we trip up in the same way and wonder whether we’ve even been walking with Jesus all along. Sometimes the glory to glory feels like battlefield to battlefield, without victory.

I go back to France in my mind sometimes—that place of my greatest weaknesses, where the worst parts of me came roaring alive. I stared at my soul in those times, wondering who in the world am I? I thought I’d been a strong, trusting Christian, but I found that when Job-like experiences flung my way, I resorted to hiding, fear, sin, and depression.

I would never say that my time in France meant fruit. But as I look back on that devastation, I see growth. Exponential growth based on way too many trials.

So I guess what I’m saying is, maybe we’re not such good judges of our sanctification when we’re in the midst of the trauma. Maybe God is bigger than even our trials and failures. And maybe He can take the broken pieces of us, that don’t even look like an offering, and make something beautiful.

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muchalone

Oh, how much I needed this post….how much I have been beating myself up for not being stronger…better able to handle the trauma…better able to cope…in short, a ‘better Christian’…one who can just say ‘well, praise the Lord’ and go on like nothing happened…maybe, that ‘pit of dirt’ I struggle to climb out of is fertilizer in disguise…?
muchalone

Oh, how much I needed this post….how much I have been beating myself up for not being stronger…better able to handle the trauma…better able to cope…in short, a ‘better Christian’…one who can just say ‘well, praise the Lord’ and go on like nothing happened…maybe, that ‘pit of dirt’ I struggle to climb out of is fertilizer in disguise…?
muchalone

Oh, how much I needed this post….how much I have been beating myself up for not being stronger…better able to handle the trauma…better able to cope…in short, a ‘better Christian’…one who can just say ‘well, praise the Lord’ and go on like nothing happened…maybe, that ‘pit of dirt’ I struggle to climb out of is fertilizer in disguise…?
http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

Well put Mary.
Kim

“Maybe God is bigger than even our trials and failures. And maybe He can take the broken pieces of us, that don’t even look like an offering, and make something beautiful.”

I love this, Mary. I want to imprint this on my heart. It speaks so well of the hope and transformation found in the One who loves us best of all. Thank you.
Liza Lake

Absolutely! Very well said.
http://lauriewallin.com/ Laurie Wallin

Yesterday I sat with a friend and we talked about how our kids come from school home overjoyed by the paper cup with dirt in it. There’s a seed down in there somewhere and it might take 2 weeks for it to peek out from the soil, but they don’t care, they’re “growing a plant” and they rejoice every single day over it. Me, with my seed in the soil? Not so much. Maybe it’s because mine’s been in the soil for almost 8 years with my hurting fost/adopt daughter. But really, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Anything worth building or growing takes time. That’s the conclusion we came to yesterday too. Reading this here is such a sweet confirmation. Thanks!

http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

Oh that’s a really great analogy. It’s hard to be patient!
http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

Oh that’s a really great analogy. It’s hard to be patient!

http://hikingtowardhome.com/ Sharon@HikingTowardHome

I have been sorting through the devastating trials we’ve been through in the ministry in the last 5 years. Though I haven’t seen it until recently, I do see growth. I am finally able to thank God for what we’ve been through and where we have been. If it hadn’t been for any of that… we wouldn’t be where we are today.
It was good for me to read this today… just this morning I was reading Isaiah 61.
I wish I had been able to meet up with you and talk at Relevant 11. I met you briefly and regret that I wasn’t bolder in talking with you.

http://www.marydemuth.com Mary DeMuth

Oh we would’ve had a GREAT talk. But I’ll be there this year. Find me.

Linda Chontos

This is such an encouraging thought Mary. I just writhe when I look back at the colossal failures in my life. How miraculous that He could make something good come of it all.