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To my facebook friends, I’m moving, and here’s why.

13 Comments 14 September 2010

To my facebook friends, I’m moving, and here’s why.

This has been a decision I’ve thought and prayed through. It boils down to simplicity and decluttering. I don’t say that lightly, nor do I mean that people are clutter. What I do mean is that I’m becoming increasingly worried about spreading myself too thin, about putting more of myself out there in the public domain for consumption. To be honest, keeping up with friends and fans in a deliberate way is tiring. And trying to differentiate between the two in the way I post has become a nuisance. I also want to be a good steward of my time. So I’m taking a new step. Toward community, in a way. Toward genuine, face to face community.When I first started facebook, I freaked over strangers asking me to be their friends. I ignored all the requests, only to find out it would be beneficial to add them in terms of marketing. Even writing that makes me stressed and sad. I don’t want to market to friends. Don’t they know me already? Do they really need to know about my books?

Then I went friend crazy until I reached facebook nirvana: 5000 friends. Which then meant that anyone else who wanted to add me (often true, face-to-face friends) couldn’t be accepted. I’ve floated around in this state a few months now. And now I’m ready to make the switch. To honor the word “friend” and keep it that way.

Who is a friend? A friend is someone I’ve spent face time with, someone I’ve loved, talked to, interacted with, prayed for directly. So I’m going to be whittling down my list to a hundred or so in the next three days. If you’d still like to get updates from me, simply click on the Mary DeMuth fan page (which is still a term I don’t like) and “like” me. The “Like” text is on the lower left hand side of the page, kind of small and hard to find. Sorry about that.

This “liking” nonsense reminds me of a funny quote from Michael Scott from The Office. He said:

“Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like this, compulsive, need, to be liked. Like my need to be praised.”

So I guess I “need” to be liked, in this instance.

Why am I making the switch?

  1. To have a safe place to let my hair down and be myself with people I know, love and trust.
  2. To separate my professional life from my personal life.
  3. To give me space to concentrate more on my face-to-face friends.
  4. To give writing and book-related and Jesusy information through the channel of my fan page.

I hope you understand this decision. It’s not a big one in the grand scheme of God’s kingdom. But in some ways, I feel freer as I take this step. I’ll still be tweeting, too, so you can follow me there as well.

Let’s end this with community: How are you simplifying your life? Your social media? Your home? Your relationships? Your busyness?

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Related posts:

  1. It’s More than Moving
  2. Blogging+Jesus=Friends
  3. Friends part four
  4. Encouragement from Friends
  5. Moving too fast, too serious

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  • http://www.karenrabbitt.com Karen Rabbitt

    Good self-care, Mary. Good for you! And, ultimately good for everyone you minister to.

    Blessings, Karen

  • http://www.dailysunshine4u.blogspot.com Denise Spooner

    I understand as well Mary, you are only one person and must go about doing what Jesus wants you to do. Simplifying is good, necessary and obedience to our Lord. I will follow your tweets and of course on your fan page, releasing you completely from your need for any explanations while I will enjoy our online friendship through your postings to your fans and on twitter. Many blessings to you Mary and thank you for personally responding to my heart-felt sharing on your blog. To God be the glory always…………

  • http://unfinishedwork.wordpress.com Dianne

    There are so many levels to the word “knowing.” You can be acquainted with some, or be intimate friends with them – or anywhere in between. I think it’s good to differentiate, for yourself. Perhaps it’s just having good boundaries. Good for you and I removed the facebook connection too. ;) Blessings as you continue to discern and refine your outreach and connections.

  • Pingback: Tweets that mention To my facebook friends, I’m moving, and here’s why. | Mary DeMuth -- Topsy.com

  • http://www.discoveringtogether.com Eyvonne

    You’ve described your reasons with clarity and grace. I think this move just makes sense!

    Although you’ve graciously given readers a huge window into your soul, you still need a place to relate with people who know you in REAL life, separate from fans/readers/blogging buddies.

    Sometimes, the more God expands your circle, the more you need to protect the center. Bless you for doing it with compassion!

  • http://Www.mandycsingleton.com Mandy C. Singleton

    Good for you! I hope this change helps take off some stress and allows you to have some healthy boundaries. I’m sure you didn’t come to this decision lightly but I hope you have peace about it!

  • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary

    Thanks Brock. And love your last line about writing being your passion as opposed to twittering. I so get that.

  • http://www.lifesummit.org Brock S. Henning

    Sounds like a good move, Mary. I don’t have a book published (yet–hopefully), but I’ve already thought about the What If’s of social media for myself down the road, and building NOW as a no-name writer working on article projects alone.

    Of course, I don’t have a FB fan page (and won’t until I have a book on shelves), but you’re going about it the way I think I probably will.

    It’s hard enough keeping up with a full-time day job, my family, social media (like my blog & Twitter), and writing projects. I’m finding I need to cut back on how much time I’m spending connecting with others via social media and get on with more publishable writing. Both need to happen, but writing is my passion, not twittering. :)

  • http://www.paulawiseman.com Paula Wiseman

    I’m a big believer in simplifying, and sticking to the ministry you are called to do. I remind myself often “Just because I can, doesn’t mean I have to.” And if you want to “unfriend” me, I totally understand :-)

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary

      Oooh, good quote, Paula.

  • Patricia

    Completely understandable.

  • Pattie

    I saw your post on FB about this yesterday and then decided on my own to leave your friends list. So you have one less person to debate about. :) I think it’s a good choice.

    • http://www.marydemuth.com Mary

      Thanks Pattie. I appreciate your grace.

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Mary DeMuth

I love Jesus, my family, and my life. Jesus has helped me live uncaged, and for that I'm eternally grateful. In that place of thanks, I write books and blogs and whatnot.

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