Mary, I am not

6 Comments 16 December 2005

Please forgive my yoda-speak. I’ve been thinking about that story where two women interact with Jesus–one named Mary, one named Martha. Mary sits at Jesus’ feet, adoring Him, listening to Him, being with Him while Martha bothers herself with tasks and weariness.

Mary, I am not.

And, therefore, merry, I am not.

Martha, I have become.

Planting a church is hard. Being in a foreign country amplifies its difficulties. Loving my children, extending hospitality, going to meetings, organizing worship, paying bills, writing nearly full-time, cleaning–it’s all too much. From task to task to task I flit. I’m Martha on steroids.

If I shut my eyes, I can see Mary, adoration adorning her face. When I look in the mirror I don’t see adoration, I see apathy and fatigue.

Maybe it’s just because the end of the year has caught up with me. It’s been a roller-coaster year, with, oddly, mostly uphill climbs and few exhilarating twists and loop-de-loops. Maybe my body has caught up with my tired heart. Maybe I just need some encouragement.

Ever feel that way?

The truth is, I want to be both merry and Mary. I see how I want my life to be–as a girl dedicated to Jesus, sitting at His scarred feet, hearing His song over my heart. Instead of flitting, I’d rather be hearing His tasks from His mouth, His encouragement.

What is it in me that keeps going and going and going without this holy fuel?

I can say this. Martha has got to go. She’s wearing me out. She’s wearing my heart out.

Lord, I want to be Mary. I want to be merry. Sitting at Your feet is the best place. Take me there today. I need Your refreshment, Your words, Your encouragement. I need to hear You, need to know You’re not terribly disappointed in me for my frailty and my addiction to frenetic activity. Slow me down. Hold me close. Help me to see it’s all about being near You and not about doing a bunch of things that look like dedication. Make me Mary and merry.

Amen.

Be Sociable, Share!

Related posts:

Be Sociable, Share!

« For those hard to buy for folks…

Sledding in a Winter Wonderland »

Paula

You wrote: I need to hear You, need to know You’re not terribly disappointed in me for my frailty and my addiction to frenetic activity. My dear, sweet Mary. Do you really think the Lord is mad at you? I can almost hear Him saying, “So, exactly what do you think I am disappointed in? Your willingness to move to another country, leave all that is familiar, and try to show others I love them? The way you wrote My Truth at great personal cost to your own heart so that others might be set free? Maybe you think I’m disappointed in your willingness to clean and serve and show hospitality, or the hours you put in grieving, praying for, and writing to others for prayer for your children and their difficult transition to this new lifestyle. . . .”Instead of disappointment, I think I hear Him saying to you, as He had his angel say to the prophet Elija, “Rest. The journey has been too long for you.”Rest. physically. Rest Spiritually in the knowledge of your Father’s unconditional love and regard for you. Rest. mentally.Put it all aside for a few days, Mary. Sleep. Laugh. Play. Rest.
Paula

You wrote: I need to hear You, need to know You’re not terribly disappointed in me for my frailty and my addiction to frenetic activity.

My dear, sweet Mary. Do you really think the Lord is mad at you? I can almost hear Him saying, “So, exactly what do you think I am disappointed in? Your willingness to move to another country, leave all that is familiar, and try to show others I love them? The way you wrote My Truth at great personal cost to your own heart so that others might be set free? Maybe you think I’m disappointed in your willingness to clean and serve and show hospitality, or the hours you put in grieving, praying for, and writing to others for prayer for your children and their difficult transition to this new lifestyle. . . .”

Instead of disappointment, I think I hear Him saying to you, as He had his angel say to the prophet Elija, “Rest. The journey has been too long for you.”

Rest. physically. Rest Spiritually in the knowledge of your Father’s unconditional love and regard for you. Rest. mentally.

Put it all aside for a few days, Mary. Sleep. Laugh. Play.

Rest.
Michael van Eekeren

It’s a sign of times. I Think the whole western world , and the non western world as well these days, has to slow down. Maybe we should start by ending our collective worship of workaholism. Who was a better president: Reagan, who brought the Sovjet Union down while he was playing golf, or Jimmy Carter, who worked all the time, but didn’t get a second term?
Michael van Eekeren

It’s a sign of times. I Think the whole western world , and the non western world as well these days, has to slow down. Maybe we should start by ending our collective worship of workaholism. Who was a better president: Reagan, who brought the Sovjet Union down while he was playing golf, or Jimmy Carter, who worked all the time, but didn’t get a second term?
Ame

ditto
Ame

ditto